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Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone; The Best Is Yet To Come

Human beings are creatures of comfort, aren’t we? We love it when our life circumstances feel comfortable, safe, and familiar. We’ve got a long list of reasons why we don’t want to give up what’s easy in exchange for what might be difficult even though science tells us that there’s great reward in that trade. 

The comfort zone is a mental state where we feel safe, where we’re not being questioned. It’s life under a cozy blanket; we like it because nobody is challenging us, we avoid feeling anxious and life feels certain. Because it’s not enjoyable to feel uncertain or anxious, our mind tells us to stay put but what it doesn’t tell us is what we might be missing out on. Personal growth and having new experiences all require us to get uncomfortable before we can realize the reward.

The comfort zone is the great enemy of courage and confidence.
-Brian Tracy

Why is it so hard for us to get out of our comfort zone and why should we bother? It’s so hard for us mostly because fear of the unknown can be enough to have us procrastinate. Uncertainty and procrastination are the stepbrothers of fear. Terms like I can’t, I’ve never done that, I’m not good at that or I’m not sure are all expressions of fear and uncertainty. It’s our mindset convincing us to avoid challenge or discomfort. The second part of the question is why should we bother pushing out of our comfort zone? Even though new encounters can feel unsafe, pursuing different experiences helps us learn about ourselves and about life. We expand our horizons and reinforce that we can do hard things. Ultimately, embracing new experiences whether they work out for us or not helps expand our comfort zone in the long run.

I’m an introvert who has developed skills that allow me to meet new people, speak in front of audiences in person and on television. It has been such a great education and I have certainly benefited from stepping outside of my comfort zone. I was once a person who feared her own shadow and by taking many courageous steps, I developed a confidence that still surprises me some days. In the process of learning more about myself, I’ve learned that most of us are afraid and while I have great empathy, I also know the joy that lives on the other side of fear, and I know that courage is the superpower to take us through.

Getting to know more about ourselves our likes, and dislikes, learning about different lifestyles, cultures, expanding our knowledge base in areas of interest or new topics all provide fuel for conversation, open new opportunities for connection and friendship, help develop our character and teach us how to manage fear.

Fear feeds all the negative qualities that make you feel bad about yourself: doubt, self-hatred, and despair. Faith feeds all the positive qualities that make you feel good about yourself: self-confidence, self-love, and hope. When you choose faith over fear, you create a positive destiny for yourself.”
Darrin Donnelly

To switch out of our comfort zone we first must be willing to shift something. Notice I don’t use the word change here. No surprise that my brain doesn’t like change because just like you, I’m wired for safety. But if I say that I want to shift something, I can usually sneak under the radar and start implementing small alterations in my behaviour. Yes, micro shifts are where it’s at for me and I encourage you to resist getting overwhelmed by something new to you and take any small action. This way you’re demonstrating to yourself that growth is possible. This is a great place to start. 

Get out of your comfort zone and bring comfort to others.
-Ravi Shankar

Do you have a list of things you’ve always wanted to do? If not, why not invest some time in creating that list because this activity signals to your brain that you’re interested in checking out some new experiences. Then select one thing on that list and research it by speaking with other people about it or exploring online. If you can, take one small step toward experiencing whatever that activity is even if it’s watching videos online about it. Our brain really doesn’t know the difference between a physical experience, a video experience, or an imagined experience. Enjoy playing around without pressuring yourself to do anything.

The road to success is always under construction.
-Lily Tomlin

Change your routine to get out of your comfort zone. Take an alternate route, order something new at your favourite eatery, try a different exercise. If you’re used to being alone, contact someone and ask them to meet for coffee. If you’re not used to writing notes, do that. If you’re not used to giving compliments, try it. If you’re not used to asking other people how they’re doing, do that. If you’ve never volunteered, why not give it a go? You have so much gold to offer this world and tending to your own personal growth creates a ripple effect. Your courage not only demonstrates what you’re capable of, which increases confidence; it also gives other people permission to stretch what’s possible for them. Let’s vow together to live without regret, to challenge any negative or limiting beliefs and to get out of our comfort zone so that we can live life fully, knowing that the best is yet to come.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

Sustainable Happiness: Nourishing the Natural Chemicals in Our Brain

Welcome to The Good Life with Kat and Nat!

Today we will explore one of the top goals for us human beings – happiness. Many of our behaviours are driven by the quest for happiness, but the feeling we get from positive experiences is often temporary. So, how can we nourish more sustainable happiness in our lives?

In this video blog, we’ll discuss the chemicals our brain produces that flood our body with good feelings: serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine. We’ll explore what these chemicals do, how they contribute to our well-being and happiness, and ways to increase their production in our bodies.

Let’s get started! Click here to watch the video.

Palentine’s Day: Celebrating Friendship and Inclusivity

Welcome to our video blog about Palentine’s Day! This special day is all about celebrating the amazing friendships in our lives and promoting a sense of inclusivity and community. Instead of focusing on romantic love, Palentine’s Day is an opportunity to appreciate the love and support of our friends and show them just how much they mean to us.

Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between, Palentine’s Day is a chance to spread love and positivity to those around you. So grab your besties and get ready to celebrate!

And speaking of celebrating, have you ever had a secret admirer on Palentine’s Day? This year, we encourage you to think about who your secret admirer might be. Who in your life deserves some extra love and appreciation? Is it a friend who always has your back, a coworker who makes you laugh, or a family member who you admire?

Whatever you choose to do this Palentine’s Day, remember that it’s all about celebrating the wonderful people in our lives and spreading love and positivity. So let’s get started and make this Palentine’s Day one to remember!

Click here to watch the video. 

What Is That Feeling of Happiness And How Can We Get More of It?

One of the top goals for us human beings, especially here in North America, is to be happy.  In fact, the quest for happiness drives many of our behaviours. We look to positive experiences, expecting that they will make us happy. We relish the feeling of achieving a goal or revel in the honeymoon phase of a relationship and while both feel great, the feeling doesn’t last. So, let’s look at what that feeling is and how we can nourish more of it in our lives. 

I’ve been studying and teaching what I call sustainable happiness for a long time but only recently challenged myself to explore the physiological aspect of happiness. Our beautiful brains produce chemicals or neurotransmitters that flood our body with good feelings. I wanted to share what I’ve learned here, so we can all look for ways to tap into this brilliant natural resource. 

There are four main chemicals our brain produces: serotonin, sometimes called the happy hormone, endorphins, think runners high, oxytocin, known as the cuddle hormone and dopamine, think pleasure. 

“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.” -Henry Ward Beecher  

There’s a very good reason why we may not feel so cheerful on cloudy days. Sunshine helps our brain produce a chemical messenger or neurotransmitter called serotonin. Its purpose is to stabilize our mood; it contributes to our wellbeing and feelings of happiness. It also plays a role in our digestion and sleep.  

If serotonin is low in your body, your immune system, digestive system, and sleep rhythm can be impacted and if serotonin is too low for too long, it can lead to depression. Some people with low serotonin can treat it with diet, by eating foods containing the amino acid tryptophan. Foods such as turkey, chicken, pork, eggs, and tofu are all good sources. Also, light exposure and exercise help with serotonin levels.  The prescription then to increase serotonin, in addition to diet, is to make sure you get daily exercise and exposure to sunlight. If you feel your serotonin levels are off, speak with your healthcare provider, who is very well equipped to help. 

“Happiness is a direction, not a place.” -Sydney J Harris 

Many of us have experienced an endorphin rush after an exhilarating activity like running, which is why we refer to the feeling as runners high. The name endorphin is derived from endogenous morphine, meaning internally produced morphine or natural pain medicine. Endorphins are produced when we participate in both pleasurable and painful activities, providing pain relief and a sense of well-being. Say you sprain your wrist; endorphins flood your body to ease the pain. On the flip side, when you laugh uncontrollably, your body is flooded with endorphins. Research is ongoing but here are a few suggestions to help boost endorphin production in your body.  Exercise moderate to vigorous, hearty laughter, listening to music, including yoga and meditation in your daily routine, having sex, enjoying dark chocolate, and acupuncture treatments all contribute to increased endorphins in the body; it sounds like a great prescription to me. 

“Laughter boosts the immune system and helps the body fight off disease, cancer cells as well as viral, bacterial, and other infections. Being happy is the best cure of all diseases!”  - Patch Adams 

Full disclosure here: I am a cuddle bug. I love to experience that feeling of connection through snuggling; it goes way back to my childhood. I can’t help myself and I don’t want to help myself because now I see that science backs up the theory that cuddling is good for us.  

Oxytocin, known as the love chemical, is released when we’re hugging, cuddling a person or a pet, kissing, and when we’re being kind to one another. Imagine that: you’re producing the love chemical for yourself, while you’re being kind to someone else. It’s no wonder kind people always seem to be so happy.  

Oxytocin plays a role in reproduction, in birthing babies and bonding; any time we’re in a situation that gives us the warm and fuzzies, we’re feeling the effects of oxytocin. Ways to increase this cuddle hormone are staying connected with people you love, doing acts of kindness and hugging. There’s an added benefit if you can hold the hug for between 6 and 20 seconds because you’re lowering the stress hormone cortisol. Music, especially singing in groups, massage and making love all contribute to increased levels of oxytocin. Let’s get cuddling. 

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” -Guillaume Apollinaire 

Finally, dopamine, known as the pleasure chemical, travels through our nervous system and affects many areas of our lives including motivation, movement, mood, sleep and even our heart rate. It’s a big part of our unique ability as human beings to think and make plans. Dopamine also plays a role in our brain’s reward system. The creators of social media understand this very well; it explains why the apps keep us coming back. Likes and shares give us a dopamine hit, so we must be careful to manage how much time and energy we invest in this type of reward system, to keep our happy hormones in check. 

When dopamine levels are low, we can lack motivation and feel chronically tired; low dopamine levels can contribute to addictive behaviour. Ingesting too much caffeine, alcohol or sugar can deplete dopamine, as will high stress. That’s the bad news; the good news is that there are supplements including some B vitamins and vitamin D that you can take to increase dopamine production. 

I’m a big believer in the power of expressing gratitude and showing appreciation; it makes me so happy to see that mainstream science recognizes the benefit of these practices. I believe in the power of exercise, laughter, eating a healthy diet rich in colourful fruit and vegetables and exposure to sunlight. I believe in the power of dancing like nobody’s watching and one of the most important contributors to our happiness: connection and community because sharing our journey with others decreases stress and increases happiness. Here’s to a year filled with your own flavour of happiness and a wish that you share it freely with others.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

From Cluttered to Clear: The Importance of Creating Space for Personal Growth

Creating space in our lives is essential for inviting in new opportunities and experiences. Whether we’re in a season of transition or simply looking to improve our current situation, making room for the next best thing requires a willingness to let go of what no longer serves us and actively create space for what will. In this video, we will explore the benefits of decluttering both physically and mentally and discover ways to actively cultivate the space needed to bring in new and exciting things in our lives. Click here to watch the video. 

Moving On To Create Space For Your Best Life

Happy New Year. May this year bring you much joy, kindness, and blessings too many to count. January always feels like a fresh start to me. It’s an opportunity to look at where we can edit out what no longer serves us and invite in new experiences.

Last fall, I spent some time looking at what’s in my clothes closet because it was time for the annual clear out. While I feel very blessed to have a lot of clothes, some of them have been waiting for a turn for far too long. My lifestyle has changed a little during the pandemic and some of my pants seem to have shrunk, so it was time to evaluate what clothing matched my current life.

Timing is everything because as I was thinking about clearing out my closet, I received a call from a local charity, offering to pick up any clothing or household items I didn’t need any longer. All I had to do was leave bags on my porch and they would swing by and pick them up. In a flurry, I edited my wardrobe and my surplus gift drawer, filling bags and my heart, knowing that the beautiful items I was parting with would be well received by someone else.

We humans have a habit of hanging onto stuff, people, and situations sometimes for too long. We’re attached to the past because it’s familiar, so even when situations, relationships and sometimes pants are no longer a fit for our current life, we hang on, allowing these things to take up space that we really need for something or someone more in line with our current circumstances.

I understand the courage it takes to edit people and situations in our life that aren’t aligned with our current needs. It’s been a personal project of mine, over the last ten years or so. Sometimes, those of us who are recovering people pleasers must learn that unless a situation or a relationship is an enthusiastic yes then it’s really a no or a not right now. That means setting healthy boundaries to ensure we’re not compromising ourselves any further.

“If we don’t say yes authentically, we say yes resentfully, and that leads to far more problems than if we’d said no in the first place.”
-Natalie Lue

In my experience, we must let some things and people go to create space for what truly reflects wherever we are right now. I love what Eckhart Tolle says about surrender: “To some people, surrender may have negative connotations, implying defeat, giving up, failing to rise to the challenges of life, becoming lethargic, and so on. True surrender, however, is something entirely different. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action.

“Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.”
-Eckhart Tolle

When we yield to the flow of life, in other words, when we accept our circumstances instead of wishing our life could be different, we’re creating space for new opportunities and we’re setting ourselves up to take clear action toward the next steps on our adventure. At this time of year, we’ve been conditioned (I say conned) into thinking that if we make resolutions to change our habits or introduce new ones, we’ll finally achieve our dreams and goals. Then there’s the inevitable lunch bag letdown that sneaks in because the pressure is overwhelming, and we feel disappointed in ourselves once again because we didn’t get something right. It’s such a waste of our precious energy and time. Wouldn’t it feel better and be more productive to focus on some healthy thinking habits and take small action in the direction we want to be going in? For those of us who are recovering people pleasers, choosing to focus on saying no or not right now to an invitation that we really don’t want to accept is empowering. Practicing even this one thing will help you to feel increasingly convinced that the decisions you make are right for you. Choosing to prioritize your own health, happiness and well-being by saying no is not a negative, although at first it may feel that way. Trust me, with practice and kindness, this gets easier.

Habits become habits because we choose something repeatedly until it’s an engrained part of who we are. I wasn’t always a grateful person, I lived in a lack mindset for many decades of my life, thinking I didn’t have enough, I wasn’t enough, and I couldn’t do enough. The result was that I lacked happiness, enjoyment, and satisfaction. Once I started nurturing the habit of focusing on what I’m grateful for in my life, the results shifted. I started noticing all the ways I had enough because I had learned to count my blessings instead of noticing what was wrong with everything. I learned that I am enough exactly as I am, and I am doing enough because I’m committed to doing my best. It’s remarkable how powerful we human beings are when we acknowledge that life is a beautiful, challenging, dynamic experience and every one of us is deserving of all the good life has to offer; all we have to do is create space to receive it.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

Bringing the Sparkle: Simple Ways to Brighten Someone’s Holiday Spirit

The holiday season is a time for joy and celebration, but it can also be a stressful and overwhelming time for many people. In this video, we will explore some easy and practical ways to bring a little extra sparkle and cheer to the lives of those around us.

Whether it’s a thoughtful gift, a kind gesture, or a heartfelt message, there are countless ways to spread joy and lift the spirits of those we care about. So let’s get started on bringing some cheer to the world and lighting up the holiday season for all!

Click here to watch the video. 

Resilience: The Secret Weapon for Success in Life

Welcome to our video on resilience! Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, to handle stress and challenges in a healthy and effective way, and to adapt and thrive in the face of change. It’s a critical skill to have in today’s world, where we are constantly faced with new challenges and uncertainties. In this video, we’ll be exploring the concept of resilience in more depth, and sharing some strategies and techniques for building and strengthening your own resilience. So join us as we dive into the topic of resilience and discover why it’s our ultimate superpower. Click here to watch the video. 

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like the Holidays

December is an exceptional month and one of my favourites. It marks the end of the calendar year, the return of more daylight and many gatherings for religious and family celebrations. It’s a time of both reverence and joyfulness. We all have ways to mark the special occasions we celebrate and outside of the more formal religious traditions, it’s a good idea to make sure our rituals match our lifestyle.

It’s been said that the festive season is the most wonderful time of the year, and it can be. I’ve chosen to stop making the full turkey dinner for our Christmas celebration; instead, my gift to myself is purchasing the meal already made, requiring some easy reheating in the oven. When you add up the time and effort it’s a fair trade with the added benefit of more time for me to enjoy the day.

If the Pandemic has taught us anything, it’s to have a deeper appreciation of what’s important to us, choosing to invest our precious time wisely. It’s not so much how many friends you have but the quality of those friendships. The Pandemic reminded us that we’re all in this together and helped us feel more comfortable caring for each other. These are the things to celebrate during the festive season.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”
-Hamilton Wright Mabie

The Danish and Norwegian cultures set the mood for feelings of well-being and pleasure with their tradition of Hygge (pronounced hew-guh). It’s a general living concept that focuses on coziness and enjoying the good things in life with good people. If you’re on your own, simply enjoying your morning cup of coffee or tea in a cozy setting or dressing warmly to enjoy a walk outdoors would do the trick. Perhaps taking a bubble bath will help create that comfy feeling.

Gathering with people is a feature of Hygge, given the long cold winter days. We can create a welcoming atmosphere to share food and drink with friends but consider doing it during the day for lunch or snacks instead of in the evening for dinner. It’s a way to connect over festive food and uplift one another, in a season where some of us may struggle. 

May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility.”
-Mary Anne Radmacher 

Nostalgia can take hold in December, when we’re reminded of family and friends we miss or traditions we long for. Recently I learned from an ageless 97-year-old woman at Wellings of Corunna that it’s better to focus on what we can do instead of complaining about what we can’t do anymore. It may be the perfect opportunity to start some new activities that will light you up this festive season or re-ignite some of the traditions you loved before the Pandemic started.

If you long for the gatherings you used to have, organize a gathering with a few friends, where everyone brings some food to share or have everyone contribute to having it catered. Instead of missing all the baking you used to do for family and friends, come up with one or two things you love to make and share your goodies with people around you. How about a special sweet gift for that person who might be challenging to love or who might be struggling in some way?

Consider creating your own holiday cards or purchasing cards and sending them in the mail or dropping off at someone’s door, to lift their spirits and let them know you’re thinking of them. Again, consider someone who might be stressed about something because they need our kindness now more than ever. In fact, kindness is the best one-size fits all, everyone needs it kind of gift.

If you’re considering what to give your family and friends, why not ask them what they need instead of giving them more stuff. Maybe they need help paying bills or they need a night off from taking care of children; your gift could be to pay for a babysitter. One Christmas my husband and I were gifted with a three-month soup subscription and another year we received a three-month cheese subscription. Being creative with gift giving is lots of fun and makes the person receiving your gift feel special.

I find twinkle lights so festive; I have them glowing in our living room, all winter long. They’re inexpensive and rather magical to me. I’m sticking with two traditions that have deep roots in both my husband’s and my family.  My mother-in-law’s white fruit cake is something people line up for and the treasured plum pudding that my Mum and Godmother made will grace our table and will be shared as gifts. These limited-edition homemade treats evoke the spirit of Hygge (which makes me think of a hug) bringing up warm, cozy memories we all have of the festive season.

This year, as you reflect on what’s important to you, enjoy sharing the spirit of the season with others and remember to be a gracious receiver. Appreciation and kindness are two of the most needed gifts of all. Wishing you much joy, peace and Hygge this holiday season.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

Graceful Aging

Aging gracefully is about living your best life and having the physical and mental health to appreciate it. With care, you can mature like wine. Here are a few tools we love that you can add to your life toolbox of resources to keep you happy and living well with us at the Wellings.

1. Be skin-friendly
Protect yourself with sunscreen and clothing. Try getting yearly skin checkups with your doctor, and drink plenty of water to make your skin happy. It helps keep skin healthy and reduces indications of aging.

2. Get fit
Regular exercise lowers your heart disease and cancer risk and prolongs your mobility. Exercising reduces stress and improves sleep, skin, bone, and mental health. Plus, many studies link a sedentary life to chronic illness and early death. Active choices include walks, hikes, vacations, and group workout programs.

Five hours per week of moderate-intensity activity, 1.25 to 2.5 hours per week of vigorous-intensity aerobic exercise, or a mix of two or more days per week is recommended.

You can consider aerobic exercises: walking, dancing, and cycling. Muscle and bone-strengthening activities use weights or resistance bands: balance training, and cardiovascular and muscle-building workouts.

 
3. Mental wellness is key
Being joyful and managing stress helps you live and age healthily. Why it’s important to see friends and family. A robust social network improves mental and physical health and longevity. People with a positive perspective about aging live longer and recover from disabilities better. Learning to accept aging can make a difference. 
 
Enjoy life. Spending time doing things you love will make you happier. 
 
4. Reduce stress 
The impacts of stress range from premature aging and wrinkles to heart disease. Among the proven strategies to reduce stress are: Meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga. 
 

5. Sleep enough
Good sleep is good for your body and mind. Also, it’s good for your skin. Getting enough sleep: reduces heart disease and stroke risks
it will also help you reduce stress and depression and helps improve focus and concentration by reducing inflammation.

6. Try new things
New and meaningful activities can give you a sense of purpose and keep you motivated. In addition, those who indulge in hobbies, leisure, and social activities are happier, less depressed, and live longer.

Finding new activities might give you a sense of purpose.

7: Be mindful
Acceptance and living in the moment are crucial to mindfulness. In addition, practicing mindfulness has various health advantages that might help you age better.

8. See a doctor
Regular visits can help discover problems early or before they develop. Your medical visits depend on age, lifestyle, family history, and health.


At The Wellings, we know that aging gracefully is about health and happiness, not wrinkles. So, to maintain a healthy lifestyle, surround yourself with affection and positive energy. Stay well, my friend.

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