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The Kindness Effect

“Kindness is the one size fits all gifts that everybody needs.”
-Kathie Donovan

Science is finally catching on to the kindness movement, recognizing that thoughtfulness is not a sign of weakness but a healthy and meaningful habit.

What may appear to be a very simple act is actually a rather complex experience for us humans. Even observing kindness can have an impact on us. We experience kindness in our heart as in “his kind act touched my heart” as well as in our head because we remember kindness and are sometimes inspired to be kind to others as a result of having the experience.

When I was researching my first book Inspiration in Action: A Woman’s Guide to Happiness, I had a study group who would play along with some of my ideas, one of which was an experiment called The Mindfulness Project. I challenged the participants to carry out simple, thoughtful acts for other people for one week. Some were asked to give compliments freely for a week, others were asked to buy someone a cup of coffee, or smile at three people. The results were inspiring, as each person reported back that they felt the power in a small kind act, even when they weren’t the recipient. Science calls this effect “helpers high.”

Acts of kindness have tremendous physical benefits. Showing kindness, releases the hormone oxytocin, which produces nitric oxide that helps lower blood pressure. Oxytocin also supports good self-esteem and optimism. So, next time you’re feeling shy, show someone some kindness and you’ll feel the benefit too.

“In the same way that it wouldn’t take much to turn your day around, ask what you could do for someone else.”
-Kathie Donovan

A few years ago, I used a simple strategy to spread kindness. I wrote thank you notes on a piece of paper, folded it in half and placed it under random windshield wipers in the parking lot, outside my doctor’s office, outside a hospital, in a very full downtown parking lot; always when I thought nobody could see me. The message inside would say “you have a beautiful smile” or “you make our world better by being here” or “you are loved,” you get the idea. I’d write For You on the front of the paper and leave it under the windshield wiper. While I’ll never know how those messages were received, I know what I intended and I definitely felt that “helpers high.”

The cool thing about kindness is that it’s absolutely free. Kindness is a smile, looking someone in the eye, saying thank you, giving compliments freely. It’s assisting someone when it looks like they need it, it’s doing something kind for someone and not telling anyone about it.

Kindness can be learned and it’s an excellent habit to cultivate because kindness has magical powers. The kinder you are to others, the more kindness comes to you in ways you would never anticipate. Kindness when practiced regularly  helps to reduce stress and leads to a feeling of wellbeing.

If you choose to see the world with kindness instead of fear, you’ll have a much better day and everyone around you will benefit. I challenge you to foster kindness in your community and notice what a difference it makes for you and everyone you encounter. All you have to do is ask yourself  what small act of kindness could you do for someone to make their day brighter? Then enjoy doing it. Be kind; live well.

Kathie Donovan

Currently a Wellings Ambassador and Living Well Advisor, Kathie was Canada’s broadcasting sweetheart and co-host of Regional Contact for almost 30 years. Kathie travelled the Country shedding light on attractions, causes and talented artisans tucked away- off the beaten track. Her love of connecting people, caring and sharing is inspiring. Kathie has authored three books, continues to build on her workshop series “ Refresh Your Passion”, and is currently taping a new TV show, yet still has time to love what she’s doing and live well.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

The Power Of Connection And Community

I remember what it felt like when I walked into a new classroom in grade school, after my family moved to a new city. I felt so alone and uncomfortable until I connected with the people in my class, which didn’t take too long. I’ve experienced that same feeling over and over throughout life whenever I’ve been courageous enough to join a class or a new group of any kind.

You’d think we’d learn that the feeling of being alone doesn’t last very long but fear often wields its power to keep us from trying new experiences because fear’s job is to keep us safe and comfortable. Ultimately, I believe we’re all looking to feel connected and we’re at our best when we’re part of a community. Our fear is quickly eased either through conversation or shared activity, just like it was when I was in grade school. Our work then is to ask fear to take a seat while we get on with the business of exploring the amazing opportunity communities have to offer.

Science shows us that human beings are born for connection and we thrive when we’re part of something greater than ourselves. Today, young people often refer to their group of friends as a tribe, borrowing from history and they’re not wrong. We thrive when we’re with our tribe because ultimately community is where we feel valued, seen, heard and appreciated.

Communities have a powerful effect on our wellbeing: emotionally, physically and spiritually; helping us feel socially connected and providing a sense of being part of something meaningful. In our digital world, on-line communities can provide a touch point without us having to be together physically but nothing can replace the relationships we make when we’re together in person.

As human beings, we need familiar threads to tie us together: family is a great example. Although not perfect, a family’s story has commonalities and provides a sense of belonging that we attempt to replicate throughout life. Depending on the stage of our life it could be a social circle, a spiritual group, a workplace family or the community we choose to live in.

Just as our roles in life shift, the importance of connection and community shifts as well. We are meant to continue learning and growing as humans, so as we retire from full time work or become empty nesters, joining a group or community offers focus, engages our imagination and enriches our social skills. How about learning a new language, volunteering, joining a dance or yoga class; perhaps taking martial arts classes?

As we age, our focus should be on enjoying a good quality of life: maximizing friendship, health and happiness.  Living well at The Wellings means being part of a community where everyone is encouraged to thrive, where everyone has an opportunity to contribute, where there’s reduced stress, opportunities to make new friends, learn something new and above all feel safe when you’re at home. This tribe is fuelled by the enthusiasm of its members and supported by the staff; I just don’t think you’ll find a better definition of a freedom living community than the lifestyle enjoyed by folks who live at The Wellings.

Kathie Donovan

Currently a Wellings Ambassador and Living Well Advisor, Kathie was Canada’s broadcasting sweetheart and co-host of Regional Contact for almost 30 years. Kathie travelled the Country shedding light on attractions, causes and talented artisans tucked away- off the beaten track. Her love of connecting people, caring and sharing is inspiring. Kathie has authored three books, continues to build on her workshop series “ Refresh Your Passion”, and is currently taping a new TV show, yet still has time to love what she’s doing and live well.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

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