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Healthy Aging

Healthy Aging

Category: Healthy Aging

The Comfort Zone Feels Good but is it Good for Us?

Do you love your comfort zone as much as I do? Especially when I felt pressured in some way, my old habit was to retreat to comfort. It’s human nature. I can remember as a kid not having very much peace or ease in my life, which I’m sure in part explains why I’m a sugar addict. Sugar provided sweetness and an instant fix of comfort for me, when I was a kid but that habit hung around a little too long. I’ve been aware for some time that sugar is a poison in the body, so in the last several decades, I’ve been investigating other ways to comfort myself instead of turning to sugar. I love yoga, meditation and walking in nature; these practices all help to calm my system. I acknowledge that it takes courage to resist the allure of sugar because it’s so easy to access but I’ll continue to push on the edges of my comfort zone to embrace other ways to find sweetness in life because I know I’ll benefit in the long run.

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”
-Psychologist, Abraham Maslow

Mirriam-Webster dictionary defines comfort as “contented well-being, consolation in a time of trouble, a feeling of relief or encouragement.” Comfort implies a state of ease and satisfaction; it’s something we all want to experience. But staying in our comfort zone can over time create such a predictable life that we can feel bored or left out and long term that’s not a recipe for a happy life. It’s important to understand the difference between challenging the edges of our comfort zone and doing something that makes us feel uncomfortable. Moving out of our comfort zone implies that we accept a challenge and make the choice to grow even when it’s somewhat difficult. Engaging in an activity that makes us feel uncomfortable without a clear intention can have negative consequences and push us farther back into our comfort zone instead of helping to expand it.

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”
-Author Brian Tracy

Have I ever shared with you the experience I had when I started to study colour pencil drawing? My teacher was a physicist turned artist, who copied the masters, and became a master of the art herself. She had many tricks to help her students not feel overwhelmed when starting a drawing but the week after we were assigned to draw a group of apples from a photograph, I had barely one centimeter of the assignment done. I was so afraid to not get it right, I felt paralyzed until I was in my teacher’s company where I felt courageous enough to move the drawing along and eventually finish it. I remember the experience so well because I was pushed so far out of my comfort zone. I was asking myself who I thought I was, I was afraid of being judged by the teacher and what I learned was that as a student we don’t have to know all the answers, we don’t have to get it right the first time; we don’t have to judge ourselves harshly. We just need to be good students and having a lot of compassion for ourselves is an important part of being a good student. That lesson runs through everything I live today in my personal and my professional life. Having a student mindset allows me to be more compassionate toward myself when I don’t get it right; it supports me when I want to try new things, meet new people and have new experiences.                                     

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
-Dale Carnegie

Especially as we get older, the comfort zone becomes more appealing. We’re concerned about stepping out, we’re afraid to look like we don’t know what we’re doing, and we think we should be able to handle everything in our lives, the way we’ve always done. So, staying in familiar surroundings feels safer than doing something we’ve never done before or trying something we’ve never tried before. It’s key to mention here that as we get older and our life circumstances shift: we retire from full-time work, we may move out of our family home, we may not have family close by or feel connected to our family, whatever the circumstances we need to accept whatever is going on. That may be the most courageous act of all: acceptance of life as it is. The curious thing is that once we fully accept life as it is, we create space for ease to take over from the anxiety of wishing life could be any other way.

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”
–Nelson Mandela

Successful people understand that there’s no such thing as failure. When we don’t get the result, we expect when we try something new, it doesn’t mean we’ve lost. On the contrary, when we’re open to learning, we can see that we’ve gained wisdom, a fresh perspective and perhaps a new skill. We don’t always have to understand why something didn’t work for us, nor do we need to blame ourselves for not getting the result we wanted. We need to congratulate ourselves for taking a risk and embrace compassion for ourselves in the process. Life is anything but predictable and perhaps we shouldn’t be either. Learning to expand our comfort zone equips us to process change and uncertainty with more acceptance and grace; it also helps us to be more resilient in the face of future challenges.

Here are some tips to help you expand your comfort zone:

  • Spend time in the company of courageous people and listen carefully to them so you can learn how to be more courageous.
  • Be honest with yourself. Write in a private journal or talk with a trusted friend. Say exactly what you’re feeling.
  • Challenge what you think you know. Be open to other viewpoints and opinions.
  • Learn a new language or take up a hobby to push on the edges of your comfort zone. This helps with memory and problem-solving skills.
  • Make being creative part of your every day: write, draw, paint, do a puzzle, sing, dance, play music or build a business. These activities help to alleviate the need for perfection and encourage a student mindset.
in Healthy Aging Posted by Kathie Donovan

Pet Besties How We Celebrate Them at Wellings

As we navigate the different stages of life, one thing remains constant: 

The companionship of our beloved pets. 

At Wellings, we understand that pets are more than just animals—they’re family. They offer unconditional love, a sense of purpose, and endless moments of joy. That’s why we not only welcome but celebrate the presence of pets in our community, recognizing the vital role they play in our well-being, especially as we age.

Companionship Beyond Words

A pet’s companionship can bring a sense of comfort and fulfillment that is unmatched. As we grow older, this bond becomes even more profound. Whether it’s a wagging tail greeting you at the door or a soft purr by your side, pets provide the emotional support we need to navigate life’s challenges. They are loyal listeners, and trusted confidants, and never fail to make us feel loved, even on the most difficult days.

At Wellings, we see the power of this companionship every day, and we cherish the bond between our members and their furry (or feathered!) best friends. Pets have an incredible ability to lift our spirits, offering a sense of belonging that enhances our overall happiness.

Pets and Health: A Perfect Match

The benefits of having a pet extend far beyond the emotional bond—they have tangible positive effects on our physical health as well. Pets keep us active and engaged, whether it’s through daily walks, playing fetch, or simply taking care of their needs. For many of us, our pets are our wellness partners, motivating us to stay healthy and active.

Studies show that pets can help reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and improve heart health. In fact, just the act of petting a dog or cat can release calming endorphins, helping us feel more relaxed and at peace. At Wellings, we encourage this connection between pet ownership and well-being, recognizing that our pets help keep us feeling young, energetic, and full of life.

Building Community Through Pets

Pets are natural community builders. They have a way of sparking conversations and creating connections between people who might not otherwise cross paths. At Wellings, pets often serve as the perfect icebreakers, helping members bond over shared experiences and stories about their animals.

Whether it’s meeting a fellow dog owner during a morning walk or gathering in our pet-friendly spaces for a chat, pets foster a sense of community that brings us closer together. They remind us that we’re not alone, offering moments of joy and laughter that create a strong sense of belonging.

The Importance of Routine and Purpose

As we age, having a sense of routine and purpose becomes essential to our well-being. Pets provide this in a beautiful way. Caring for a pet—whether it’s feeding, walking, or simply spending time with them—adds structure to our day and gives us a sense of responsibility.

This daily routine is not just beneficial for our pets; it’s also incredibly rewarding for us. The joy of watching your dog wag its tail as you grab the leash or hearing your cat’s contented purr reminds us that we’re making a positive impact in another being’s life. This mutual care helps create purpose and fulfillment, enriching our lives in ways that go beyond the ordinary.

Why We Celebrate Pets at Wellings

At Wellings, we see pets as more than companions—they’re a celebration of life itself. They bring joy, warmth, and connection to our community, reminding us of the simple pleasures that come from unconditional love and loyalty. Pets encourage us to live in the moment, to embrace the everyday adventures that make life at Wellings so special.

That’s why we open our doors and hearts to our members’ pets, knowing that they contribute to the vibrant, dynamic environment that makes Wellings unique. Together, we celebrate the bond between humans and animals, understanding that pets help us live not just longer, but better.

in Carefreedom Living®, Healthy Aging Posted by My Wellings

Boosting Your Energy Naturally

Maintaining steady energy throughout the day becomes more critical as we age; sometimes, energy is more complex. 

But there’s good news! 

There are simple, natural ways to boost yourself that are easy to incorporate into your daily routine. 

As members of the Welling community, finding those small habits that make a big difference can help you stay vibrant and energized all day.

Let’s start with one of the most straightforward yet powerful tricks: let in more natural light. By opening the blinds in the morning, you let sunlight fill your space, which naturally signals your body to wake up and feel more alert. Sunlight helps regulate your circadian rhythm, ensuring you stay energized during the day and get a good night’s sleep later.

If you’re looking for an easy way to stimulate your senses, try aromatherapy. Something as simple as drinking peppermint tea or using a few drops of peppermint essential oil can do wonders for your energy. Peppermint has been shown to increase alertness and brain activity, leaving you feeling more focused and awake.

Another quick energy booster is to take a few deep breaths. Deep breathing sends more oxygen to your brain and muscles, instantly helping you feel more energized. It’s a great way to take a break, reset, and recharge.

If you like chewing gum, here’s some good news—chewing a piece of sugar-free gum (especially peppermint-flavored) can increase alertness. The simple act of chewing stimulates blood flow to your brain, and the refreshing flavor of peppermint enhances that effect, giving you a quick mental lift.

Music can also be an energizing tool. Sing along to a song you love or listen to an upbeat tune, and notice how quickly your mood lifts. Music has a remarkable power to elevate your spirits, reduce stress, and bring a burst of energy when you need it most.

Physical movement, even in small doses, can be incredibly effective. A few minutes of stretching or taking a brief walk can improve circulation and help shake off feelings of fatigue. Regular, light activity keeps your energy flowing throughout the day.

One common cause of fatigue is dehydration, so make sure you’re staying hydrated. Drinking water or herbal teas, like ginger or ginseng, can stabilize your energy levels. Even mild dehydration can make you feel sluggish, so keep a water bottle close by and sip throughout the day.

When hunger strikes, reach for a small snack that’s rich in protein or fiber, like a handful of nuts or some yogurt. These foods can help stabilize your blood sugar, preventing the energy crashes that leave you feeling drained.

In addition to these quick fixes, mindfulness practices or engaging in a hobby can do wonders for your energy. A few minutes of meditation or simply focusing on a creative activity like knitting, painting, or gardening can refresh your mind, reduce stress, and energize you.

Incorporating these small habits into your routine can significantly impact your energy and well-being. 

Whether you open your blinds to let in the sunlight, sip on peppermint tea, or sing along to a favorite song, these natural approaches can help you stay active and engaged throughout the day. 

By making these simple adjustments, you’ll feel more vibrant, focused, and ready to enjoy the things you love. Staying energized is about finding what works best for you, and these accessible practices can help you maintain a healthy, fulfilling lifestyle every day.

in Carefreedom Living®, Health and Fitness, Healthy Aging Posted by My Wellings

Are Life’s Obstacles Stumbling Blocks or Building Blocks for a Better Life?

Have you ever met an obstacle you liked? If you have, I’d like to give you a high five. I’ve never met an obstacle I liked. My brain slams on the brakes the moment it senses a potential stumbling block; all systems are called into action to assess the situation before proceeding. If that sounds at all familiar it’s because you’re human and we humans are like cats waiting for a mouse, we’re always on the lookout for danger, sometimes to the point of sabotaging our own goals and dreams.

“We all have challenges. You can let them be obstacles or roadblocks, or you can use them.”
– Paralympian, Amy Purdy

Amy Purdy fully embraces obstacles now, after navigating them for over twenty years. As a young woman with a thriving massage therapy practice, Amy thought she had the flu. It turned out to be meningitis; Amy lost both legs below the knee and got herself on prosthetics as soon as she could. You’d probably be more familiar with this young American as a Paralympian snowboarder and Dancing with the Stars runner up because that’s what she did with the obstacle presented to her. Amy 2.0, as she called herself then, saw the obstacle, processed what happened, accepted the situation, and figured out how to work with it, so that she could achieve the new dreams and goals she set for herself. She’s had to adapt repeatedly throughout her life as an amputee. Amy is pure inspiration for any of us to turn to, when we come up against something we perceive as an impossible block.

“It’s the hardest things in life—the things that stress you out—that build character and make you stronger. Don’t shy away from uncomfortable situations just because they won’t be easy.”
– Life Coach, Brittany Burgunder

Call them obstacles, or barriers, they’re part of life and we will encounter them at every age and every stage of this adventure. Our inclination is to avoid them but they’re not on our path without purpose. We can’t grow when we resist what challenges us. It is true that what we resist persists, so that the more we push back, the more we’re pushed back. Our resistance to life’s trials points to fear. One of my mentors, the late personal-development author and speaker, Dr. Wayne Dyer often used the acronym f. e. a. r. to symbolize “false evidence appearing real,” implying that much of what we fear is a result of our beautiful brains imagining the worst-case scenario or a dramatic outcome with no basis in our current reality. It feels real and when we entertain fear in this way, it can delay our personal growth; even sabotage our goals and dreams.

When we undertake to work with an obstacle, we tap into our innate resourcefulness, we build resilience, increase our self- awareness, and learn valuable lessons. Not to say that fear isn’t useful; in many ways it’s a helpful tool, telling us to turn back or at least not proceed immediately. Can’t swim? Then having a healthy fear of water will keep you safe. I like to use the example of crossing the road: if we look both ways and there are no cars coming, then we can proceed but stepping out on to the road without checking first can lead to no good. Fear is all about survival ultimately and when we recognize it for what it is, it can be helpful instead of harmful. Keep in mind that as we age, fear tends to pull up a chair and make itself comfortable; what we want to do is get comfortable being uncomfortable in the company of fear.

“Every challenge, every adversity, contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth.”
– Author, Roy Bennett

Author Roy Bennett said it best: every challenge has within it the seeds of opportunity and growth. What if fear prevented you from going to the event where you met your partner? What if you let fear of failure stop you from inquiring about an opportunity you really wanted. What if you turned everything around and recognized that your superpower of courage is always there, waiting for you to call on it, to support you as you face whatever you might be feeling fearful about? What if we put obstacles, barriers and challenges in proper perspective and recognized them not as stop signs but as learning opportunities, so that instead of saying “I can’t” right out of the gate, we ask “what is this here to teach me or what can I learn from this?”

We’ve all been gifted with an unlimited supply of courage and sometimes we must invest it in shifting our focus from fear to possibility, so that we can see beyond the obstacle or barrier in front of us. It’s always in hindsight we see that had we not navigated our way through something challenging we wouldn’t have been ready to take on something new. It’s important to accept that some life circumstances are out of our control but our power lives in knowing that much of what we perceive as life’s obstacles are really what we call in retrospect life’s building blocks.

Tip: To help calm your system when you come up against an obstacle try box breathing. Breathe in for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, exhale for a count of four and hold your breath for a count of four. Repeat 10 times and notice the calm feeling in your body. Controlling the breath signals to the body and the brain that everything is okay.

If you’d like to read more about Amy Purdy, check out this article in Women’s Health: Click here. 

in Carefreedom Living®, Healthy Aging Posted by Kathie Donovan

How I Learned to Make Friends Again

I sat on the balcony of my apartment at The Wellings, watching as the late afternoon sun cast a warm, golden hue over the landscaped gardens below. The Wellings was a lovely place, a community designed for people in their golden years, with everything we could need just a short walk away. There were walking paths, a cozy café, and even a tiny library. Despite its charm, I had hesitated to dive into the community. After all, joining a new group at this stage in life felt like stepping into uncharted waters.

But I soon found that everyone at The Wellings was welcoming and friendly, eager to make newcomers feel at home. When I arrived, the staff greeted me with warm smiles, and the residents always seemed ready with a kind word or a cheerful wave. It felt like the place where you couldn’t help but make friends.

It used to be so easy to make friends. When I was young, all it took was a smile, a shared joke, or a common interest. Friendships formed in the blink of an eye, whether in the schoolyard, at church socials, or even during a simple stroll through the neighbourhood. We were open, had time, and embraced the people who came into our lives. But as the years passed, life got in the way. Responsibilities, careers, family, and eventually, the passage of time slowly built walls around us, and the friendships we once treasured became distant memories.

Now, at 75, living in this beautiful place, I wondered if I had lost the ability to connect. But with the friendly atmosphere at The Wellings, I began to think maybe it wouldn’t be as complicated as I feared. Still, the idea of jumping into activities or starting conversations with strangers left me feeling unsure. It had been so long since I’d had to make the first move.

One evening, my granddaughter Natalie—Nat, as I call her—came to visit. We sat in the small café downstairs, sipping tea and watching the residents come and go. Nat, always wise, noticed how I seemed to hold back, my eyes following the groups of friends yet never moving to join them.

“Grandma,” she said softly, “why don’t you join some of the activities here? Everyone seems so nice, and I’m sure you’d make new friends in no time.”

I sighed, giving her a small smile. “It’s not that easy anymore, sweetheart. Things change. I’ve changed.”

“But look at everyone,” she replied with the confidence of youth. “They’re all so friendly, just like you. I bet they’d love to get to know you.”

Her words stayed with me long after she left. Feeling more hopeful the next morning, I followed her advice. I walked down to the community room, where a group of members gathered for a game of cards. My heart pounded as I approached, but I reminded myself that this place was full of kind people.

“Do you mind if I join?” I asked, my voice betraying my nerves.

The group looked up, and without hesitation, one of them—a woman with soft white curls and a warm smile—nodded, pulling out a chair. “We’d love to have you,” she said, her voice full of genuine warmth.

As we played, I felt the old ease of conversation slowly returning. We chatted about the game, our lives at The Wellings, and the little things that brought us joy. I realized the key to making friends hadn’t changed; it was still about being open, sharing a part of yourself, and genuinely listening to others.

In the following weeks, I began to explore more of what The Wellings had to offer. I joined the walking group that met each morning to stroll the paths around the gardens. I signed up for a pottery class, discovering a new hobby that brought me unexpected satisfaction. And every Thursday, I found myself at the social hour in the café, laughing and sharing stories with people who, just a short time ago, were strangers.

It wasn’t long before I no longer felt alone. The Wellings, once a place where I simply lived, became where I truly belonged. I had found friends and, more importantly, rediscovered the joy of connection.

Making friends again wasn’t as tricky as I had feared. It differed from when I was young but was more affluent and deeper, filled with the wisdom of years lived and shared experiences. The trick was taking that first, sometimes daunting step and allowing myself to be open to the possibilities.

As I sit on my balcony now, watching the sunset over The Wellings, I feel a warmth inside that has nothing to do with the fading sunlight. It’s the warmth of knowing that, even at this stage in life, friendships can still be formed, and new joys can still be discovered.

And perhaps, just perhaps, it’s easier than we think.

in Carefreedom Living®, Healthy Aging Posted by My Wellings

Nourishing Ourselves: Body, Mind and Spirit

Are you a caregiver personality, someone who prides themselves on putting other people’s needs ahead of your own or have you figured out that your needs are important too? I’m curious because somehow when I was young, I learned that it was noble to prioritize other people’s needs. While it might feel natural for us to take care of other people, sometimes we’re so focused on other people’s needs, we abandon ourselves until we’re exhausted and out of resources. Who is there to take care of us when that happens? The answer is: it’s the same person responsible for our happiness: it’s us. We’re responsible for it all. This life lesson has taken me a few decades to integrate and I’m still working on it but I’m getting there. I’m learning that I can give to others, and take care of my own needs too.


“When you say, ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”
– Paul Coelho, Author, The Alchemist

When we’re taught about nourishment we’re educated around calories, leafy greens, fibre and protein but not so much about feeding ourselves good thoughts. We’re taught about calories in and calories out, but we’re not taught that rest is a key part of productivity. In fact, pausing is almost frowned upon where it should be celebrated. We’ve become a culture that praises hustling and denigrates resting, overlooking the fact that resting fuels us to be productive in a healthy way. Let’s face it, while we’re managing the details of our lives, we’re also managing our energy and we want to have stores of it so we can proceed with purpose.
Rest has many personalities for us to engage with; we can incorporate it into our day by focusing on a hobby, spending time reading or meditating. We get quality rest by including good sleep habits in our day, including letting our body know that sleep is coming up by having a set bedtime and wrapping up eating two hours before bed. We can wear blue light blocking glasses when we’re in front of our computer screen or our phone, we can enjoy calming music or have a warm bath in the evening. When our mind is focused on future tasks, ruminating about all the things we have to do, we can take a few minutes to write a to-do list, this will give us the comfort of knowing we don’t have to think about it all the time, to remember to do it.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
– Author, Anne Lamott

Research tells us and I say it a lot here: food and movement are two important keys to living a long life, but the number one predictor of our longevity is social connection. Our warm relationship with others scores higher than whether we choose to eat popcorn or not. Friendship and community are essential nutrients in our lives, so it’s important that they’re healthy. Creating boundaries around toxic relationships is empowering, once we get past the initial discomfort. Learning to say yes to what we really want and no to what we don’t want is also uncomfortable, especially if you’re a recovering people pleaser but the reward of not having to do things you don’t want to, is worth the effort. Working on eliminating gossip, being a good listener, asking good questions, offering compliments and expecting nothing in return are all nourishing habits that build healthy connections.
Stepping out of our comfort zone and taking the lead on inviting someone to have coffee, go to a movie or take a walk are all brilliant exercises when it comes to building our courage muscle, which we need to have toned to live a fulfilling social life. Especially as we age, we’ve been conditioned to believe that we’ll lose our mojo when it comes to trying new things. Let’s forget about what we’ve been taught about getting older and ensure that we have what we need: people around us who light us up and activities that make our days enjoyable. The truth is that there are no rules; we’re in charge of all of it.

“Invent your world. Surround yourself with people, colours, sounds, and work that nourish you.”
– Author, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

Spirituality is a unique experience for all of us. I might be interested in practicing yoga, meditation, mindfulness and kindness as my spiritual practice and someone else might find religion a perfect fit for their needs. I fully believe that creativity is a spiritual practice. Ask anyone who writes, paints, draws, plays music, sings, does handiwork, builds things, dances, or designs gardens and they’ll tell you that they can easily lose track of time because they’re living in the moment with whatever they’re creating. It’s the most remarkable, unexplainable experience and while it’s often challenging, it’s also grounding and rewarding. Have you ever thought you’d like to try something creative even if you don’t think you’ll be good at it? Go ahead, be lousy at it, you can still have fun and not be good at something. Who are we doing these things for anyway? The answer should be we’re doing all of this for ourselves. You just never know what you’ll discover about yourself by trying something new.

I studied colour pencil drawing years ago and was mortified that I didn’t know how to do it right out of the gate but how could I? My teacher was an accomplished artist and physicist who was very compassionate. I kept at it, and you know what? I learned a lot and produced a few beautiful drawings. Maybe it’s time to pick up the pencils again and see what we can create together.

I’ll leave it to the professionals to advise us on how to eat for optimum health, but I do know that too much sugar is destructive. Yup, I’ve learned that the hard way when my sleep was being impacted by sugar. I’m a work in progress on that topic, it’s so addictive and hidden in plain sight. It’s such a shame that it tastes so good. The other lesson I’m learning is around water. Drink it. I now add lots of fresh lemon to my water to entice me because the only way I really enjoy water is in a bathtub or floating on a pool noodle in the river.
Hahaha.

I’ll leave you with this. Find ways to make yourself laugh, not only to lighten your day but to boost oxygen in your blood, improve your immunity, burn calories, relax your muscles and lower stress hormones. Heck, forget everything else I’ve said here and find something that makes your heart sing with laughter.

in Carefreedom Living®, Healthy Aging Posted by Kathie Donovan

Books We Couldn’t Put Down

As avid readers, we constantly search for stories that spark the imagination and keep us turning pages late into the night. 

If you’re like us and love getting lost in a good book, check out these top-selling novels that have taken Canada by storm in 2024:

  1. Everyone Here Is Lying by Shari Lapena
    It is a thrilling tale of deception and suspense in a quiet suburban neighborhood. Secrets unravel as everyone’s lies come to light, keeping you guessing until the end.
  2. Meet Me at the Lake by Carley Fortune
    It is a romantic novel about love lost and found, set against the picturesque backdrop of a lakeside town. This story explores second chances and the power of memories.
  3. The Defector by Chris Hadfield
    It is an intense espionage thriller that blends action with space exploration, written by Canada’s astronaut. This novel will keep you on the edge of your seat.


Happy reading!

in Carefreedom Living®, Healthy Aging Posted by My Wellings

Why Happiness Matters and How to Cultivate More of it in Your Life

What does happiness mean to you? Some of us think of happiness as a fleeting state, depending on circumstances and other people. For others it means contentment or feeling successful. Happiness to me is a state of mind rather than a feeling in response to something outside of myself. I call it true and sustainable happiness and I learned about it by not having it in my life. Sounds strange I know but I believe we’ve been taught to think that we’ll find happiness through people and situations outside of ourselves. While we may get results pursuing happiness this way, to maintain the feeling, we must keep chasing after it. We can get closer to the meaning of true sustainable happiness when we acknowledge what it is not. It’s not money in the bank although that’s a nice thing to have; it’s not status although that’s lovely too. We have been mistakenly convinced that our happiness comes as the result of having money and status. You can’t buy true sustainable happiness, but you can earn it by investing in yourself.

“Nothing can bring you happiness but yourself.” –  Ralph Waldo Emerson

I call myself a happiness expert, so you’ll understand why I’m fascinated with the subject. My passion is researching how to help people uncover more of what I call true happiness; that’s been the focus of my work for the last few decades. I’ve been committed to the topic in part to support myself. As I mentioned in my first book Inspiration in Action: A Woman’s Guide to Happiness, happiness was so elusive in my life as a young woman that I felt like I was reaching into a large, overstuffed purse, pulling out whatever I thought might make me happy and trying it. Nothing and I mean nothing from shopping and drugs to alcohol and losing myself in relationships provided what I now know as true happiness. I’m grateful to have survived my experiments and now use the wisdom I learned from those experiences to help other people have an easier time connecting with their own version of happiness.

“Happiness isn’t a goal, it’s a by-product of a life well lived.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

The question is how do we invite more happiness into our lives? We all have our own preferences when it comes to everyday living and what makes us feel good. We have different tastes in music and art which is so special, but I don’t think we put enough emphasis on incorporating gratitude and kindness into our everyday habits. We’re conditioned to take our lives for granted until something happens to shake us out of our slumber. Some of our Wellings members tell us that they take the opportunity to create new habits and live life more on their own terms instead of living to please anybody else when they move into our community. That’s a step in the direction of more happiness. You’ll often hear people who have survived a terrible accident, or a life-threatening disease say they’re grateful every day. I believe it but we don’t need to wait for something extraordinary to happen for us to develop that deep appreciation. It’s all about the lens we choose to see life through.

When we see ourselves as separate from others either better or less than others, we’re turning away from happiness. The truth of this life is that we are all connected as a human race and the simple acknowledgement of that fact turns us toward a more settled mindset instead of the stress and chaos that separation sets us up for. Adding to that, having compassion for ourselves and others instead of feeding the drive to judge helps to settle our nervous system, which is a contributing factor to experiencing true happiness.

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Positive psychology, the school of science that explores happiness, recommends that being grateful, partaking in regular exercise and having healthy relationships will enhance our happiness. Developing a practice of being grateful by writing down three to five things a day we’re grateful for will help to embed the habit in our mind. Moving our beautiful body however we’re able will enhance not only our wellbeing but our sleep as well. Removing toxic people from our social circle and eliminating habits like complaining and gossiping will lighten us up to make more room for happiness. Incorporating more positive habits into our daily life encourages production of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine which are correlated with happiness and pleasure. Who doesn’t want more of that?

I’d say watching our thoughts is an important pillar when it comes to our happiness. Mindfulness refers to noticing when negative thoughts start to take over and adjusting our focus to think of something positive or compassionate instead of judgmental. You’ve heard it said that we’re our own worst critic, right? Well, it’s also true that we can be our own best cheerleader. It’s our choice because as I’ve said here before, the only thing in life we have control over are the thoughts we choose to think. It’s also important to get comfortable listening to our own good guidance. While other people may have our best interest at heart, only we know what is best for us. Learning to enthusiastically collaborate with others and willingly receiving support from others takes away the pressure we might feel to do everything ourselves and places the focus on interdependence, providing both empowerment and comfort.

“Happiness is a direction, not a place.” – Sydney J. Harris

Embracing lightheartedness, scheduling joyful events on the calendar, so we always have something to look forward to and making time in our day to compliment, smile and laugh with other people all contribute to our true happiness. Small shifts in our habits can create meaningful improvements in our lives over time so that we’re healthier and more productive. Remember that true sustainable happiness is not a goal, it’s more of a process; the more we embrace it and invest in it, the more access we have to it.

Ten tips to cultivate more true sustainable happiness in your life.

  • Put yourself at the top of your list. Practice self-compassion and make yourself a priority
  • Develop gratitude as a practice and say thank you often.
  • Work on having a strong social network for your own support and to give you a sense of belonging.
  • Be a good listener. Listen attentively to what other people say and respond thoughtfully.
  • Have goals and purpose to enhance happiness.
  • Prioritize time for family, partners and friends.
  • Don’t tolerate people who criticize you or make you feel disrespected.
  • Give up complaining and gossip.
  • Speak kindly to yourself and about yourself.
  • Investigate meditation to help calm the mind.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

in Carefreedom Living®, Healthy Aging Posted by Kathie Donovan

The Benefits of Alone Time and the Power of Community to Heal Loneliness

How do you feel about being alone? Your answer may be a clue to how you’re wired as a human being. Some of us spend so much time alone that it’s uncomfortable to be around people and some of us spend so much time with people that it’s uncomfortable to be alone. We like to put people into categories such as the ones psychoanalyst Carl Jung created: introverts and extroverts. If you enjoy hobnobbing at a party, you’re categorized as an extrovert and if you aren’t fond of small talk and would prefer a good book cuddled up on your couch at home, you’re categorized as an introvert.

It’s not only about our behaviour, but also about how we recharge our batteries. Some of us need to be around other people to feel energized and some of us need peace and quiet to refuel, so we can handle being around people. Some of us are a little of both and can switch back and forth quite easily. I mention all of this because as human beings, we love a good category. We appreciate it when things are clear cut and easily defined but what it is to be human is not that. Being human is complex and multi-faceted. We’re all unique. Categories are helpful as a guide to point us toward what each one of us needs to thrive. It helps to reflect on situations where we feel most energized or relaxed. Were you alone and enjoyed the day so much you lost track of time? Perhaps that’s a hint that you enjoy being alone. Were you with others who shared a common interest whether it’s a hobby or work?  Did it fill you up or tire you out? Reflecting this way can help us understand what our needs are.

“What a lovely surprise to discover how unlonely being alone can be.” – Ellen Burstyn

I’m more introverted than extroverted. I chose a very public life in broadcasting and public speaking as a career and in many ways, it’s been a terrific education. I need alone time to replenish, manage stress and reflect. Alone time helps me feel more creative and energized so I can be at my best when I’m around people. I’ve learned how to be more extroverted when I’m in social situations (practice helps). People have such interesting stories, and I learn a lot from them. I’ve learned that my story can be helpful to others as well. So, encouraging myself to be more social has had a lot of benefit.

We humans are meant to live in community and to be interdependent. We’re meant to rely on one another; not to be isolated. Research tells us that a certain amount of alone time is beneficial, especially as we age. When we’re alone, we’re more focused and away from other people’s opinions and influence. Being alone is a state of being, and being lonely is an emotional response. While loneliness is part of being human and it’s something we all feel from time to time, we all experience it differently. Some of us feel lonely for a short time and others feel lonely for long periods. Some of us feel lonely when we’re with people, especially when we don’t feel those around us care for us or understand us.

Feeling lonely can contribute to mental health concerns such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and sleep challenges. Conversely, mental health challenges can contribute to feelings of loneliness. Because this aspect of our lives is unique to each one of us, there isn’t one solution for all. Life events outside of our control, important holidays, and big changes in our lifestyle can magnify feelings of loneliness. Being kind toward ourselves or being self-compassionate is an excellent starting point, then opening up to people we trust, not overwhelming ourselves with tasks, resisting the impulse to compare our situation with anyone else’s and instead recognizing that our situation is unique, and the remedy will be unique as well. Learning to take excellent care of ourselves by speaking kindly toward ourselves and about ourselves, taking it slow and not pressuring ourselves to have all the answers might be an effective prescription to start with. Getting exercise without overdoing it, listening to beautiful music, watching lighthearted entertainment on tv, or going out for a walk with a friend might be more your style. Remember procrastination is fear in disguise and deliberately taking small steps to complete a task can help to calm fear.

“The loneliness you feel is actually an opportunity to reconnect with others and yourself.”  Contemporary philosopher – Maxime Legace                  

Loneliness is an epidemic, in our current North American social climate, despite or maybe because of the many ways we are electronically connected. But human connection is something we haven’t been able to replicate digitally, and I hope we never do. Instead, I hope we choose to connect in community whether it’s with our family or our family of choice, so that we can see how much we have in common and help one another along the way.

Life is much smoother when we accept that we’re all unique and that includes our needs. I love alone time to refuel while my friend needs to be around people to fill her tank. We don’t judge one another, instead we respect each other and encourage each other to do what’s right for us. While I’m an independent minded woman I know that I need people as much as they need me. It’s my responsibility to make sure I take good care of myself and sometimes that means spending time alone and sometimes that means sharing what’s happening with my friend.

We’ve been conditioned (I say conned) to think that when we’re independent, we’re strong, but in learning what our needs are and how to be vulnerable with others, we discover our true strength. Having the courage to be vulnerable sets us up to receive support from our community and it’s feeling that we’re part of something bigger than ourselves that builds sustainable strength. It’s knowing that we’re all in this together and together we can do anything.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

in Carefreedom Living®, Healthy Aging Posted by Kathie Donovan

Flex Your Brain Muscles with These Captivating Math Puzzles

Are you ready to give your brain a fun workout from the comfort of your home?

We’ve compiled a collection of engaging math puzzles perfect for sparking lively discussions.

Whether you’re challenging a neighbor or enjoying some leisurely problem-solving on your own, these puzzles are sure to add an extra zing to your day.

Be sure to look for the solutions at the end of this blog article!

The Monty Hall Problem

Imagine being on a game show with three doors: one hides a prize, and the others hide nothing exciting. You pick a door, say No. 1, but before it’s opened, the host—who knows what’s behind the doors—opens another door, say No. 3, which reveals no prize. He then asks if you want to switch to door No. 2. What would you do? Are your chances better if you switch?

The Missing Dollar Riddle

Three friends share a $30 hotel room, paying $10 each. Later, they found out they were overcharged $5, so the hotel sent the bellhop back with the refund. Unable to divide the money evenly among the three, the bellhop gives each friend $1 and keeps $2 for himself. Each friend now paid $9, totaling $27. The bellhop has $2. But where’s the missing dollar?

Cheryl’s Birthday Puzzle

Cheryl tells her friends Albert and Bernard 10 possible birthday dates. She whispers the month to Albert and the day to Bernard. Based on what they know and say, can you figure out Cheryl’s exact birthday?

The Four 4s

How creative can you get with the number 4? Using exactly four 4s and any operations, try to create equations that result in numbers from 0 to 100. For instance, to get 16, you might write \(4 + 4 + 4 + 4\). What other numbers can you find?

The Farmer, Fox, Chicken, and Grain Puzzle

A farmer must get a fox, a chicken, and a grain sack across a river in a small boat that only holds one item besides himself. If he leaves the fox with the chicken, the chicken won’t last long, and the same goes for the chicken with the grain. What’s his strategy for getting everything across safely?

Solutions

Have you thought them over? 

Let’s check your solutions:

  • Monty Hall Problem: Switching doors is better because your chances of winning become 2/3.
  • Missing Dollar Riddle: There’s no missing dollar. The $27 total includes the $25 room cost and the $2 the bellhop keeps. The math adds up perfectly.
  • Cheryl’s Birthday Puzzle: This puzzle depends on the clues given about what Albert and Bernard know. Each setup might have a different answer, so check your clues.
  • The Four 4s: There are many possible solutions here, and it’s a great exercise in creative thinking.
  • Farmer, Fox, Chicken, and Grain Puzzle: Take the chicken across first. Return for the fox, taking the chicken back. Leave the chicken, take the grain across, then finally come back for the chicken.

We hope you enjoy these brain teasers.

It’s a great way to keep our minds sharp and have some fun along the way.

Happy puzzling, everyone.

in Health and Fitness, Healthy Aging Posted by My Wellings

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