Blog

11/09/202305/03/2024

The Gift of Forgiving: Finding Freedom in Letting Go

In today’s episode of, The Good Life with Nat and Kat, we explore the profound nature of forgiveness. Alexander Pope’s words ring true: “To err is human; to forgive, divine.”

Forgiveness is often thought of as something we extend to others, but it’s equally important to forgive ourselves. We tend to accumulate regrets and self-reproach as easily as dust gathers in unnoticed corners. Why do we give such importance to these minor missteps? It’s time to release that severity and embrace the freeing act of letting go.

Many of us carry an incessant inner critic that replays our perceived faults, continually thinking about how we could’ve done better. This is particularly true for those driven individuals, always aiming to go above and beyond. Yet, sometimes, just getting out of bed in the morning is an achievement in itself.

Life, by its nature, is messy and full of so-called mistakes, which are actually lessons in disguise. When we forgive ourselves for these perceived errors, we open ourselves up to growth and learning. It’s a simple, yet profound shift: learn the lesson, apply it, and improve the next time.

This path to self-forgiveness also involves confronting the emotional baggage we carry, whether from our own actions or those of others. We’re taught not to appear weak, especially high achievers who want everything to be perfect. But life isn’t perfect; it’s unpredictable and messy.

In sports, as in life, you have to start somewhere. Falling down and getting back up is part of the process. Clinging to past mistakes or grievances is a waste of life’s beautiful moments. As Brene Brown, the well-known researcher, teaches, it’s important to be courageous and vulnerable in this process.

Beginning the journey of forgiveness starts with looking inward and asking where we feel constrained by bitterness, resentment, or anger. Holding onto these feelings is like taking poison and expecting someone else to suffer. When you start to realize what’s holding you back, that’s when you can begin the process of forgiveness, a process that, like everything worthwhile, is ongoing.

Our future is much brighter when we allow ourselves the kindness of forgiveness. By not dwelling on past hurts, we avoid letting them overshadow our present. Forgiveness is about stepping out of the shadows and surrounding ourselves with people who support our growth and well-being.

Forgiveness does not mean denying what happened but rather changing our perspective on the situation, allowing us to let go for the sake of our personal growth. It’s an essential step in our pursuit of the best life possible.

So, let’s embrace the transformative power of forgiveness, for it is indeed a gift we give ourselves.

Thank you for joining us today, and may you find the strength to take that bold step towards a life free from the weights of the past.

in Healthy Aging Posted by The Good Life With Kat & Nat

11/03/202305/03/2024

Forgiveness is a Gift we Give Ourselves

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” – poet Alexander Pope

Hands up if you have nothing to forgive yourself or anyone else for. Welcome to the club if you put your hand up. I find there’s always some dust bunny hiding in the back of my mind, a feeling I’ve gotten so used to living with that I don’t see where I need to forgive myself or anyone else. We’re so conditioned, especially in North America, to get over or move past hurt that we bury some of our feelings instead of dealing with them. Research tells us that over time, this type of emotional stress can be linked to mental illness, digestive and immune issues as well as heart disease.

I love what poet Alexander Pope says (above) about erring. To make mistakes is what it is to be a human being; to forgive ourselves and others for making mistakes, is a whole other story.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in the mistake making business all my life. I’ve always been independent-minded and very curious; it’s a mix that has helped me achieve some goals and it’s put me in plenty of precarious situations as well. It’s only in the last couple of decades that I’ve become curious about what lessons I was meant to learn from those situations. Before then, I just thought everything was my fault or someone else’s fault and I felt either disappointed in myself or let down by somebody else.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” —Lewis B. Smedes, ethicist and theologian

This game of blame, as researcher Dr. Brene Brown shares, is nothing more than a discharge of pain and discomfort. Oops that was me, repeatedly. I felt hurt by something someone did or I felt let down by myself and quickly assigned blame. It seemed like the right thing to do because when I blamed someone else, I felt better and when I blamed myself, I felt that familiar feeling of shame, which I thought was doing something about it. Wrong. Blaming myself was a missed opportunity to explore how I could hold myself accountable for the outcome and that would have felt vulnerable, which I was not familiar with. Vulnerability is another one of those feelings we’re not encouraged to investigate, at the risk of appearing weak.

What I’ve learned though is that being vulnerable is, contrary to popular belief, a strength. When I do presentations and share my story, some people are surprised to hear that I struggled, I mean really struggled as a young person. I had a bit of a stoic nature because nobody around me growing up talked about what was really going on in our lives. My parents taught us that there were home secrets and that was that. So, I invested quite a few years blaming them for the results I saw in my life. It seemed logical until I learned that everything in my life came back to me, so it was my responsibility to forgive them and myself for holding on to so many misguided ideas.

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.” —Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgiveness for me is not a one and done, it’s a process. First, we must recognize where we’re holding on to anger, bitterness, or resentment. Then we must ask ourselves why we’re holding on to it. What benefit is there for us in holding on to these feelings? Then we acknowledge that forgiveness is not for anyone else but ourselves. That’s where we start the process of forgiveness and choose to no longer allow whatever bitterness, anger, or resentment we’ve been holding on to, to take up space in our life. It doesn’t mean we forget what happened, it means that we choose to see the situation through a different lens. We are choosing to put ourselves and our own peace of mind ahead of everything else. You’ve heard me say that we all need to be reminded that we are important, and we matter, right? Well, here’s another way to demonstrate that to ourselves.

“Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself.” – poet Maya Angelou.

One of my friends has had a years-long challenge with one of her adult children. It’s a complicated situation and my friend has tried every way she knows to reconcile the relationship. Nothing seemed to stick; even after brief moments of connection things would inevitably revert to a strained rapport. Recently my friend heard someone talk about making amends to their family for their behaviour and my friend decided to write a letter to her child, outlining the ways in which she saw herself as responsible for any pain or resentment her child might be feeling toward her. She made it clear that she held herself accountable for the ways in which her child may have felt neglected or let down by her. She read the letter to me; it was powerful. She owned her part in the demise of their relationship and that’s all she could do. She began the process of forgiving herself for whatever mistakes she may have made, perceived or real. She delivered the letter and released her feelings of resentment and frustration with it. I know she felt better about the situation and my hope is that in sharing her story, perhaps you might recognize that there’s some dust bunny somewhere in your mind that has been living rent free for too long and it’s time to go.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi, Indian leader, and activist.

It takes great courage and self-compassion to begin the process of forgiving ourselves and others. The great reward is that in clearing out the clutter of misunderstandings, missed opportunities and resentments, we create space for more goodness and more joy to move in.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Welllings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

in Healthy Aging Posted by Kathie Donovan

10/26/202310/27/2023

Fitness Powers: October Health Tip

Flu season is always a cause for concern because it can lead to widespread illness and even hospitalizations. Typically starting in the fall and lasting through the winter months, this period requires the adoption of preventative measures. These measures include getting a flu shot, washing hands regularly, and avoiding close contact with those who are sick. If symptoms of the flu do develop, it is crucial to rest and stay hydrated, seeking medical attention if necessary. By taking these precautions, we can all collaborate to minimize the impact of the flu season.

In this video, Nurse Dawson will present detailed information about the importance of getting a flu shot.

in Health and Fitness Posted by Fitness Powers

10/20/202305/03/2024

4 Steps To Renew Your Focus and Passion

Our perceptions and priorities evolve at the beautiful age of 55 and beyond. Like the ever-changing reflections on a still pond, our life experiences shimmer with wisdom and grace. At the Wellings, we cherish this shift. How do we renew our focus? And how do we recapture our passion?

Here are four steps to get you thinking in new ways:

1. Refocus: Dive deep into introspection. At this stage of our lives, priorities and our goals evolve. It’s about maintaining our current paths and exploring new directions based on our accumulated wisdom. Embrace the changes and craft a vision that resonates with you.

2. Reconnect: Remember the beauty of the Wellings Community – it’s our togetherness. Cherish the bonds we’ve nurtured over the years and forge new ones. Embrace our shared experiences and memories and use them as pillars to build a future filled with mutual understanding and compassion.

3. Reignite: Find joy in the present. Use the glowing ember of our collective experiences and passions to fuel a new blaze of activities and aspirations. Let’s cherish every moment and every achievement and move forward with elegance and clear purpose.

4. Re-envision: Approach life with mindful passion. Celebrate our transitions, both past and upcoming, as they symbolize our growth and adaptability. Let’s harness the energy of change to craft a future that combines our past experiences with renewed enthusiasm.

Together, as part of the Wellings Community, these steps aren’t just a roadmap; they’re our dance to the rhythm of life, embracing every twist and turn with grace and wisdom.

This blog was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

in Healthy Aging Posted by My Wellings

10/13/202305/03/2024

Moving Through Grief: Conversations with Nat & Kat

In the latest episode of “The Good Life with Nat & Kat,” the duo dives deep into the topic of grief, a universally felt emotion yet often misunderstood. They explore the varied forms grief can take, from job losses and the end of relationships to more subtle shifts in life such as moving out of one’s home. Notably, they touch upon society’s often skewed perspectives on grief, especially the pervasive notion in North America that people should always present as “happy.”

Delving into personal experiences, they discuss the idea that the past generations, including their own parents, rarely displayed vulnerability, potentially leading to a culture of denial. They advocate for acknowledging grief as it can lead to adverse mental and physical health consequences if ignored. Nat shares an intimate story about her mother’s transition to a new living situation, shedding light on the lesser-recognized areas of our lives where grief can sneak in.

Nat & Kat emphasizes the importance of acceptance and allowing oneself the grace to navigate the ups and downs that come with change. They end on a hopeful note, illustrating that with time, support, and understanding, one can move through grief and find joy once again.

Tune in to hear their insightful conversations and heartwarming anecdotes, reminding us all that every journey of grief is unique, but understanding and support can pave the way to healing.

in Healthy Aging, Video Blogs Posted by The Good Life With Kat & Nat

10/06/202305/03/2024

Moving Through Grief

Grief has many facets, and it shows up in our lives in various circumstances, many of them unexpected. Grief is a feeling that we all experience at some point in a life well lived. We may encounter it due to job loss, loss of a loved one, a treasured pet or loss of property, to cite a few examples. While there are tools professionals can offer us, each person’s grief journey is unique. It’s a bit like happiness because learning to grieve is as important as learning to be happy. They’re different sides of the same coin and both are powerful components of the human experience.

“Grieving doesn’t make you imperfect, it makes you human.” – Sarah Dessen

In North American society we aren’t encouraged to grieve for long; rather we are prompted to pause briefly and get on with life. Other societies create space for people to grieve and to help them heal in community. There’s no one way to be in this mystery of grief and sometimes we need professionals to help us navigate. Say you lost a job you loved. That situation requires grieving because you loved your job and it’s gone. There’s no shame in mourning the loss and feeling all the feelings that come with it. When we pretend that we’re just fine, we’re ignoring an opportunity to heal something and that pain, if not acknowledged properly, will stick around longer than it would if it was addressed.

“Grief is love not wanting to let go” – Earl A. Grollman

When we lose someone close to us, the void is so painful that we ask ourselves how we can go on living without them? Initially it feels as though the world stops and in a way your world does stop, so that you can acknowledge your true feelings and accept the loss. It’s unrealistic to think that we move on from grief, rather we get used to new circumstances. I love how American singer songwriter Andy Grammer honours his late mother. When he goes out for breakfast and sees women his Mum’s age in the restaurant, he offers to pay their bill and shares with them how it’s his way of keeping his Mum’s generous spirit alive. Isn’t that the most beautiful way to live with grief? We know that kindness is a powerful force that not only enriches the recipient of our acts of kindness, but we benefit as does anyone who witnesses it or anyone we tell about it. Honouring our loved ones to keep their spirit alive will look different for each of us. Think of the person you want to honour, think of their best qualities, and find some way to share those qualities with others through you.

The one thing we must acknowledge about grief is that it’s real, whatever we’re feeling is real and feelings don’t have an expiry date. Sometimes we hold on to grief because we’re afraid of who we will be without it or we’re afraid of experiencing more loss. But once we begin to slowly move back into life, we can take the spirit of our loved ones with us and keep them close by honouring them in our own special way.

“Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone” – Unknown

Let’s talk about the loss of freedom and independence as something we all grieve for. Even school children grieve at the end of summer before they get into the excitement of a new adventure once they get back to school. Similarly, as our children grow up and move out on their own, we call it “empty nest” but it’s really grief we’re feeling and it’s very real. We grieve when we give up certain things like having a big home to move into a lifestyle without as many responsibilities and with more time to enjoy ourselves. On the surface, especially to those in the foundation building years of life, this can look like living the dream but in truth we are surrendering a part of ourselves that we felt defined us as guardians of the family home, and we may not know who we are without that identity. While it’s important to acknowledge that this transition is challenging and that what we’re feeling is legitimate and perfectly normal, it’s also important to carefully merge into a new lane on this amazing road trip of life.

“What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us.” – Helen Keller

What we can’t see because fear is blocking our view is that we are granting ourselves an opportunity for a new identity. We have more bandwidth in our mind for creative pursuits instead of worrying about eaves troughs and snow removal bills. I’m joking a little but there is so much potential to embrace in the third act of our lives. If our choice is to move into a community like Wellings, we’ll have a ready-made social life where we can make new friends, we’ll have the freedom to do what we want when we want. Because we’re not focused on all the chores we had as a homeowner, we can enjoy trying new hobbies and experiences for the fun of it. We’re free to create a new identity for ourselves, one that incorporates all our previous experiences with a hefty dose of courage because we’re embracing the unknown. It’s there, on the other side of fear, that our new freedom waits for us.

Here are a few parting thoughts to consider as we move through grief:

Have compassion for yourself. Whatever you’re feeling is real, so be gentle.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Nobody can accurately predict the future and as much as we would love to control it, we can’t. Accepting discomfort creates space for us to make mistakes and learn as we go. See tip #1.
Stay connected with people you love and who are willing to be good listeners. Sharing what’s on your heart with someone you trust helps with healing.
Move your beautiful body. We know that sitting for too long can be detrimental to our health, especially when we’re feeling down. Take a walk preferably in nature to elevate your spirits.
Laughter, like kindness, is good medicine. Watch funny movies or television shows that make you feel good, read a lighthearted book, or spend time with someone who loves to laugh.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

in Healthy Aging Posted by Kathie Donovan

09/29/202305/03/2024

Boosting Social Wellness through Casual Conversations

Welcome to ‘The Good Life with Nat & Kat’! Today, we’re exploring the transformative power of talking to strangers and its impact on our social fitness.

Nat & Kat, both self-confessed introverts, discuss their journeys and share insights on breaking the ice, building resilience, and fostering meaningful connections. From small gestures to heartfelt compliments, they reveal how small talk can open doors to fulfilling interactions and friendships.

They highlight the essence of a vibrant social life and its role in longevity, concluding with golden nuggets on maintaining a harmonious social environment.

Join us in this enriching conversation, share your thoughts, and let’s build a connected, supportive community together!

Click here to watch the video.

in Healthy Aging, Video Blogs Posted by The Good Life With Kat & Nat

09/23/202309/23/2023

Maximize Your Food Budget with Chef Robert in the World of Wellings

Welcome to another exciting episode in the World of Wellings! Today, we have the talented Chef Robert on board to share some ingenious kitchen hacks that will not only help you stretch your food budget but also tantalize your taste buds.

From One Pre-Roasted Chicken to Four Scrumptious Meals

Ever wondered how to make the most out of a single pre-roasted chicken? Chef Robert unveils the magic for us. With his culinary expertise, he demonstrates how to transform this humble ingredient into four mouth-watering dishes:

1. Refreshing Salad: Begin your culinary journey with a light and refreshing salad. Using tender chicken pieces tossed with fresh greens and a zesty dressing, this dish is perfect for a quick lunch or a starter.

2. Hearty Broccoli Soup: Dive into the comforting embrace of a creamy broccoli soup, enriched with succulent chicken bits. This soup is not only nutritious but also a delightful treat for the soul.

3. Flavorful Chicken Quesadillas: Spice things up with some scrumptious chicken quesadillas. Stuffed with juicy chicken, melted cheese, and a medley of spices, this dish is sure to be a hit at any gathering.

4. Rich Chicken Stock: Last but not least, Chef Robert teaches us the art of preparing a rich and aromatic chicken stock. This versatile broth can be the base for numerous dishes, adding depth and flavour to your meals.

Stretch Your Budget, Not Your Taste

Managing a food budget can be challenging. However, with Chef Robert’s clever tricks, you can enjoy gourmet meals without burning a hole in your pocket. It’s all about being resourceful and creative in the kitchen.

Don’t Miss Out!

Join us in the World of Wellings and embark on this gastronomic adventure. Learn, cook, and savour these delectable dishes with us. Remember, good food doesn’t always have to be expensive. With the right techniques and a dash of love, you can create culinary masterpieces in the comfort of your home. Click here to watch the video.

Stay tuned for more exciting episodes and happy cooking!

in Food and Recipes, Video Blogs Posted by Chef Robert Mills

09/15/202309/15/2023

When You Retire, Financial Literacy Expands

Retiring from the workforce as you know it requires a great deal of planning and a disciplined approach to saving, decades before you retire completely.

Just as your needs change over time, wealth planning now changes. It may include shifting into lower-risk portfolios while ensuring the best possible return on your investments.

Articulating your goals clearly will help define where your financial advisor invests or places your funds to work for you.

A good financial planner will ask relevant questions and provide insight into which information sources are best to further your knowledge and understanding.

This September, Marci Perreault, a certified financial planner and partner at KenMar Financial Services, offers some areas to consider as you manage your retirement savings for many years to come.

When You Retire, Financial Literacy Expands

By: Marci Perreault

Wealth planning doesn’t retire when you do – it just changes. Now, financial life is largely about making the most of the wealth you’ve accumulated. You’ll be learning about new rules, products, and strategies that involve a broad range of financial considerations.

Fortunately, your expanding financial literacy doesn’t have to happen all at once. You can acquire new knowledge gradually as needs arise.

From Accumulation to Decumulation

When you have retirement savings in your Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP) or Registered Retirement Income Fund (RRIF), Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA), and non-registered account, how do you know which source to tap first for income? You’ll learn that there’s no formula to follow. It depends on each retiree’s particular tax situation, government benefits strategy, and estate planning goals. We’ll work with you to develop a plan that suits your circumstances. This may be a balancing act in which you draw varying amounts from multiple sources.

Along the way, you’ll also learn about splitting pension income, making RRIF withdrawals strategically, and ensuring you don’t outlive your savings.

Planning Your Estate

Although estate planning typically begins in your working years, new factors often arise during retirement.

Controlling an Inheritance: If you have reason to control how an heir receives their inheritance, you’ll want to know about trusts. Situations include being in a second marriage and wanting to leave an inheritance to children from your first marriage, having minor beneficiaries, and preferring that an heir receives funds over time instead of in a lump sum.
Covering Tax: You’ll learn about ways to minimize the tax on your estate’s assets, such as gifting certain assets now to limit their appreciation or transferring assets to your spouse upon your passing. Also, you’ll develop a plan to cover the tax liability that is ultimately payable by your estate.
Using Life Insurance: One way to offset the tax on estate assets is through a permanent life insurance policy. Life insurance can also help equalize inheritances—for example, when one child takes over the family business and the other child receives insurance proceeds. With life insurance, the financial need is taken care of as soon as you pay the first premium, and proceeds are received tax-free, but the cost of the premiums must be weighed against other funding solutions.

Repurposing Your TFSA

In retirement, your TFSA could become a tax-free environment for any funds from your minimum required RRIF withdrawals that you don’t require as retirement income. Also, you can take advantage of the tax-free nature of TFSA withdrawals in several ways, such as minimizing any clawback of Old Age Security (OAS) benefits or preventing your income level from being pushed into the next tax bracket. You’ll also find out about different ways TFSA assets can be used in estate planning, either to help manage taxes on your estate’s assets or to leave as an inheritance.

Investment Changes

When you’ve been investing for decades, there’s not a lot that’s left to learn. However, you may be introduced to several products and strategies designed for the retirement years. For example, you can choose new non-registered investment funds that provide tax-efficient monthly income. To safeguard against withdrawing funds when the market is down, some retirees draw their income from a cash reserve that they replenish periodically.

We’re Here to Help You

Wealth planning in this new chapter of your life involves many decisions you haven’t faced before. However, with our help, you’ll find that your financial life during retirement goes smoothly.

Stay informed. We’ll educate you on each new topic so you feel comfortable, not intimidated.

Explore options. When a wealth planning matter arises, we’ll outline the available options. For example, say that a retiree wants to give financial support to grandchildren of varying ages. The first choice is whether to give funds now, leave an inheritance, or both. If it’s now, will the funds be for education costs, a down payment on a home, or any future use? If it’s an inheritance, will grandchildren be named in the will or designated as beneficiaries of a life insurance policy or a registered plan?

Be well-advised. If a decision is simply based on personal preference, we’ll let you know. When a solution depends on your unique financial situation and goals, you can trust us to recommend the product or strategy that best meets your needs.

in Financial Freedom Posted by Marci Perreault

09/08/202305/03/2024

How Talking to Strangers Can Benefit your Social Fitness

How do you feel about small talk or talking to strangers? Are you good at it or do you dread it? Some people are gifted this way and find it easy to engage with someone sitting beside them on a plane or waiting in line for coffee. You can feel that they’re relaxed, and it puts whoever they’re speaking with at ease. We’re not all built this way and for anyone who feels socially awkward or shy, talking with strangers can be a challenge. The great news is that when we’re prepared, small talk is easy and sometimes it magically transforms strangers into friends.

“Friendship begins with small talk; then grows into a long and deep conversation, the next thing you know you care so much.”
-Unknown

I used to feel overwhelmed when I thought about all the strangers I was going to encounter at networking events. I had all the same feelings you likely have if you feel socially awkward like I do. What am I going to say? How do I start a conversation with someone I don’t know anything about? Are these people going to judge me?

Now I know that yes people are going to judge me because that’s how we’re wired as human beings. Until we get to know someone and discover what we have in common, our brain tells us to be afraid. What I have found though with years of networking behind me is that we have more in common than we think we do. It’s a matter of engaging and we do this by asking questions of others and sharing information about ourselves. I’ll have some tips that I’ve found useful on this topic for you a little later.

There’s science behind why it’s beneficial for us to talk with strangers and engage in small talk but without looking to science we can say that when a stranger wants to chat with us, it’s likely because they’re curious, we look interesting or both. Just a few questions and answers shared, and we know whether this is a relationship for the moment or one that could evolve into a friendship. Either way we’ll learn something, right?

“Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.”
-Margaret Wheatley, Organizational Consultant

Research on small talk shows that we underestimate how much we’ll enjoy conversations with strangers and how much those conversations can nurture a feeling of connectedness with other people, which is key for thriving, especially as we age. A study conducted at the University of Michigan shows that engaging in small talk can make us feel smarter, happier, and healthier. A surprising result was that casual conversation contributes to a lower risk of heart attack. It stands to reason because we’re connecting with other people, which inherently has a lot of benefit, at any age. It bears repeating that as human beings we are made for socialization and not isolation, so it’s important that we push ourselves beyond what’s comfortable or familiar, so that we can expand our knowledge base, social circle, and our own courage.

You’re only one conversation away from learning something new whether it’s about a family member, an acquaintance, or a community member. I remember recently sitting in a small group of Wellings members, after my presentation at Wellings of Picton. The woman beside me and I struck up a conversation; I learned that she had experienced a car accident a few years ago that impacted her life and her move to Wellings gave her new friends and a community that cared. She was excited about the music we were about to listen to and said that she was looking forward to kicking up her heels, even if only figuratively. A new Wellings member joined the group and introduced herself as Flo, spelling her name with a wide smile; she started asking questions to get to know the people in the group. She joked that her grandson loved Wellings and said that this type of community would be great for young people too. I think he’s on to something. Anytime we can create community and connection we are alleviating some of the stress we all feel in our daily lives, which is magnified when we’re isolated and lessened when we’re in community.

“Smile at strangers and you just might change a life.”
– Steve Maraboli, Behavioral Scientist

It’s important for us to initiate connections with our family, our peers, friends, and our community members, some of whom we may not know yet. While it may feel uncomfortable initially, with practice we become confident and reaching out becomes easier.

Here are a few tips I’ve found helpful when it comes to being prepared for conversation.

I like to open conversation with a compliment whenever possible. It creates an immediate connection; make sure it’s sincere.
Look for commonalities in whatever situation you’re meeting this person. Make sure you’re curious and have a genuine interest in them.
Have a few topics of conversation in your pocket, so you can talk easily. In Canada weather is a great topic to open with and it seems everyone has an opinion. I like to keep it light and focus on what’s good.
Talk about why you’re there, whether it’s a party, a meeting, or some other social event.
Ask open ended questions rather than questions requiring a yes or no answer.
Ask them to tell you a little bit about themselves.
Genuinely listen to their answers and demonstrate it by using verbal and non-verbal feedback like nodding your head and following up with another question.
Wrap up graciously by saying something like “it was a pleasure to meet you” or great chatting with you” and then add that you have somewhere to be or that you’re going to chat with someone else.

I think it’s important to be positive and enthusiastic when we’re getting to know someone. Small talk is the first step in figuring out whether we’re aligned with a new person; it’s also a great tool to deepen a relationship with family or community members without things getting sticky. We don’t have to tell our life story right out of the gate. While we all have an interesting story to share, we can save that for a time when we feel it’s appropriate to go a little deeper with someone, once we get to know them.

What’s really worked for me is practice. The more I’m prepared before I initiate conversation, the more relaxed I feel, and the more I enjoy these encounters. There are so many things we can learn, so many beautiful people we can get to know and so many wonderful stories and shared experiences to uncover when we take a chance and open a conversation, simply by asking “how are you doing?”

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

in Healthy Aging Posted by Kathie Donovan

The Gift of Forgiving: Finding Freedom in Letting Go

Forgiveness is a Gift we Give Ourselves

Fitness Powers: October Health Tip

4 Steps To Renew Your Focus and Passion

Moving Through Grief: Conversations with Nat & Kat

Moving Through Grief

Boosting Social Wellness through Casual Conversations

Maximize Your Food Budget with Chef Robert in the World of Wellings

When You Retire, Financial Literacy Expands

When You Retire, Financial Literacy Expands

How Talking to Strangers Can Benefit your Social Fitness

Natalie Tommy

FREDDI RODIER