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Cut Your Cable Bill

My husband and I have been reluctant to change our cable package for years. He has his favourites and I mine, but it was more about what a pain it would be to do.

Well, last month we took a leap of faith and cut off the cable. It felt great to do; to finally make the decision and it was so easy, thanks to the help of our son! The good news is, we still have the channels we frequently watched and there isn’t as much mindless TV watching going on either.

Right at Home provides a few more tips on the way we can save money on our essentials. Click here to read the article. 

Resilience Is Our Superpower

The widely accepted definition of resilience explains our ability as human beings to adapt well when times are tough. In my view, resilience is not only about our astonishing capacity to endure difficult experiences, but also about our ability to adjust and cope with situations in a way that empowers us to emerge stronger, to thrive in the aftermath and to integrate the lessons learned. We do all of this without thinking much about it; it’s more proof that we are far more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.

We see resilience in action every day at Wellings, as folks adapt to living in community. Over the past couple of weeks, Natalie and I were blessed to visit several Wellings locations and were struck by the many life stories members wanted to share. We hear resilience in many of them, like the gentleman who was living alone in a five-bedroom home, doing his best to maintain it before choosing to give up the space in his house for space in his life to enjoy. Not long after moving into Wellings, he broke his arm and has found great support from his new community to do simple everyday tasks.

Too often we think we can’t do something or we’re too frightened to take a risk to see whether it will work out. It’s interesting to observe the air of confidence our community members have after moving into Wellings. One woman shared with us that her blood pressure and anxiety were both high, while she did her best to take care of the family home alone, after her husband passed away. After three months of living at Wellings, her mood has completely changed: her blood pressure is down and she’s enjoying life. 

“Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”
-Betty Friedan


There’s the couple who had been experimenting with different ways to right size their lifestyle, after giving up their family home. They moved around in a motorhome, so that they could see the country and spend the winter away from the snow. Once they heard about Wellings, they decided to take the plunge and see if our style of community living was a fit for their active lifestyle. Now they’re leaders in the community, spreading positivity and forging great relationships.

There’s the farmer who lost his wife and wasn’t used to going to events on his own. About eight years ago, this music lover decided to go to a concert alone. He was standing in line waiting to go in when he met a lovely woman in line behind him. She had also lost her spouse and while neither of them had purchased a ticket in advance the music was magic that night and brought them together in marriage and eventually, they chose to make their home at Wellings. They were looking for a Carefreedom lifestyle and what they found was a welcoming community, where they can thrive.

One of the most amazing stories I’ve heard from our community members is from a woman who started by saying that she is the most blessed person. She went on to say that on her birthday at the beginning of the Pandemic she wasn’t feeling well. After loving nudges from her family, she asked her partner to take her to the hospital. She had a heart attack in the car and died. Fortunately, she was revived in just a few minutes by the hospital’s medical team. This happened twice more on the same day, for a few minutes each time. She lights up when she shares her story and now that she and her partner are living at Wellings, she’s sharing her joy of living in the moment with everyone she encounters. She sure shines bright.

We meet people who have moved from other cities to live at Wellings because they recognize the power of having positive social connections. Initially it’s scary not only because of a geographical move but a shift in lifestyle. Once settled into the community, they tell us it was the best move they could have made. New friendships are forged and there’s the all-important feeling of being part of something that feels familiar yet fresh and invigorating.

“Resilience: we all have a lot of it, but we don’t think about it because fear always dominates. Change is good but fear always dominates.”
– Kathie Donovan 

Resilience is not something we’re simply born with, it’s an adaptive process that can be learned. If you want to nourish more resilience in your life, here are some ideas to inspire you.

-Recognize that life’s challenges and setbacks are temporary and are setups for the next chapter.

– Choose to be optimistic and look for the silver lining in every situation.

– Recognize that some things in life are out of your control and act on the things you can manage.

– Participate in new activities.

-Ask yourself what is most important right now and act on those items.

– Make stress management practices like exercise and breathing techniques part of your daily routine.

– Control your thoughts; don’t let them run wild with worry. 

–  Make it a habit to help other people.

– Accept help from other people.

One of the greatest gifts I’ve received from our members is a woman who approached me after one of our talks in the community. She said that she wasn’t expecting what she experienced and was happy to share with me that she learned something about herself. I asked her what it was, and she replied, “I learned that I’m important.”  We are all important and we matter at any age or any stage of life. The beautiful thing about getting older is that we have plenty of experience and hopefully lots of wisdom to help us see that connection and community are important pillars. 

 I hope that you feel inspired by some of the stories I’ve shared here and recognize that the connections our members are making in their community bring joy to their lives, which has a ripple effect. Choosing to live at Wellings is truly a fresh start for many and after speaking with members of our communities, it’s clear that the future of aging looks bright. Thriving in community is one of the secrets to success in this next brilliant chapter of life.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

Prepare Your Executor

Unless you prepare properly, your executor could end up feeling more like a detective. Where are receipts for the final tax return? Where’s the life insurance policy? What, there’s an old bank account from 20 years ago? The job of the executor is involved enough without having to search for information and documents that could’ve been placed at their fingertips.

Note that we’ll use the term “executor,” but the person designated to administer an estate may be called a personal representative, liquidator or estate trustee, depending on the province.

Make a directory

Whether you do it electronically or on paper, you should have a document or binder that lists all the information your executor will need. You’ll record contact information for your lawyer, advisor, accountant and beneficiaries. List the location of your will, tax returns, insurance policies and any other important documents. Record all assets, including investment accounts, real estate, valuables and private company shares. Also record mortgages, credit cards, loans and lines of credit. Provide bank account information, including bank contacts, safety deposit box location and your online passwords. Other items include online utility payments, subscriptions and digital assets. Any information your executor needs to settle your affairs should be included in this directory.

Explain your decisions

You should discuss any items in the will where you can offer insight or information that helps explain your intentions. For example, say that a nephew is to receive a substantially smaller amount than a niece. But that’s because you had helped out the nephew financially when he launched a business. That’s a piece of information that could prove helpful to the executor.

What if privacy is important? You may have personal information in the will you don’t yet want to reveal to your executor, and that’s fine. The point isn’t to share every detail – it’s to discuss your intentions regarding matters where clarification will be helpful to the executor.

Communicate funeral plans

No one looks forward to planning their own funeral, but it’s important to either make your own arrangements or communicate your wishes. If funeral and burial plans aren’t clear, the unfortunate result could be a dispute among family members. Depending on the province, the executor or family members are responsible for carrying out funeral arrangements, but either way, you should communicate your plans to the executor.

Confirm your executor’s interest

If the person you designated has not been an executor before, this process of preparation might demonstrate that executorship is more involved than they expected. Check in with the individual to make sure they remain interested. You can also consider getting help for your executor by having a corporate executor manage the more involved tasks.

Managing Your RRIF Withdrawals Effectively

Each year, you’re required to make a minimum Registered Retirement Income Fund (RRIF) withdrawal, calculated as a percentage of your RRIF assets. The percentage is based on your age, and it increases each year. Every withdrawal is taxed as regular income, but several strategies can help reduce the impact of the tax liability. 

Use your younger spouse’s age 

When you establish your RRIF, you can have your required annual withdrawal based on the age of your spouse. If your spouse is younger, you lock in a lower minimum payment that reduces your annual tax bill.

Split RRIF income 

RRIF income qualifies as eligible pension income for pension income splitting. If you’re 65 or older, you can split up to 50% of your RRIF income with your lower-income spouse to reduce your combined tax bill. 

Trigger the pension income tax credit 

You can implement this strategy at age 65 when you don’t actually need the RRIF income. To put it into practice, open a RRIF, but only transfer enough Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP) funds to enable you to withdraw $2,000 from your RRIF each year from ages 65 to 71. The $2,000 withdrawal qualifies as pension income, triggering an annual 15% credit on your tax return. 

Customize withdrawal amounts 

Determining the amount of annual RRIF withdrawals that best suits your situation depends on your other income sources, age, marital status, tax situation and other factors. So it’s important to work with your advisor to plan withdrawals. One person might withdraw only the minimum required amount to keep their annual tax bill lower. Another retiree may withdraw larger amounts because the tax on the payments is less than the tax their estate would pay on those RRIF assets. 

Plan initial spousal RRIF withdrawals 

Planning is essential if you withdraw funds from a spousal RRSP or RRIF when you have contributed to the spousal RRSP in the year of the withdrawal or during the previous two calendar years. Payments up to the minimum RRIF withdrawal amount are taxable to the lower-income spouse, but any payments exceeding this amount would be taxable to the contributor. 

Use your Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA)

If you don’t need the minimum RRIF amount to support your retirement right away, you can contribute the funds to your TFSA, provided you have contribution room. Although you pay tax on the withdrawal, the funds can now grow in a tax-free environment. 

Make in-kind withdrawals 

You also have another option beyond selling investments and withdrawing cash. You can take your withdrawal in kind, transferring the investments to a non-registered account or TFSA. This allows you to keep investments you believe hold promise.

Choose Compassion Over Judgement to Thrive in Community

Judgement says, “I see you; you’re different from me.” Compassion says, “I see you and we’re in this together.”

Judgement makes us unavailable for new information; compassion opens our hearts and minds.

We spend a lot of energy being concerned about other people’s judgement of us for any number of reasons. Too often, our worry prevents us from doing things we might really enjoy like meeting new people or having new experiences. What we forget is that other people’s judgement of us reflects something in them and has nothing to do with us.

People are going to judge us; that’s a fact of life. It’s how we respond that makes the difference. When we choose our response, we must remember that we don’t have to take everyone’s opinion on board because their view isn’t about us at all. However, if we feel their judgement is warranted, we can ask ourselves what we can learn from it.

People have judged me because I’m short in stature. Truth be told, being small has been a ticket to the front of the line more times than I can count, and I’ve never felt that my height was a disadvantage. You know what they say about good things coming in small packages, right?

When I worked in mainstream television, I had someone tell me that I was too short to work on TV. I mean what do you do with a comment like that? Truthfully, I was offended and what I learned from that encounter was to lighten the moment because I understand that people don’t necessarily intend to offend. It happened quite a bit over my career because our beautiful imaginations project all kinds of qualities onto the people we see on television that don’t necessarily match with reality. When someone would say, “I didn’t expect you to be so short,” I’d say “well you have to be small to fit into the box” when televisions were shaped more like a box. It lightened the moment and diffused any awkwardness for the person making the comment. That’s employing compassion in the face of judgement and for me it is always the right thing to do.

“We cannot always do great things on this earth.  We can only do small things with great love.” -Mother Teresa

As much as we find it easy to judge others, we have an equal supply of compassion we can call on. It may not be our first thought but remembering that we’re in charge of our responses to other people, we can choose again and select compassion instead of judgement any time. It takes practice but it’s a habit I strongly recommend nurturing, especially when we’re living in a community. You never know how the compassion you show someone else is going to impact their day. One small act of kindness, instead of judgement, can make the difference between someone feeling alone or feeling included.

When we care about other people and act from an intention of compassion instead of judgement we benefit because we feel good, our family, our friends, and our community all benefit too because the intention and the action coming from compassion help to lighten the moment and diffuse any awkwardness, just like I did with the people who said silly things to me.

“Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.”Pema Chodron

There is one very important piece about compassion and judgement that we can’t overlook. Nobody is more judgemental of you than you are, and I think that needs to go. I wouldn’t want your fear of making a mistake, saying the “wrong” thing, or failing at something to prevent you from enjoying your life and trying new things. When we’re compassionate toward ourselves, we stretch what’s possible in our lives. If something difficult or painful happens, think of how you might comfort someone you care about and say those things to yourself. Take good care of yourself; when your body wants rest, listen, and give yourself a rest. Cultivate a habit of speaking kindly to yourself about yourself. Accept yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings as they are without trying to change anything. This practice of being nonjudgemental softens us and increases the compassion we feel for ourselves, which in turn makes it easier to be compassionate toward other people.

Here are a few ideas to help nurture the habit of being compassionate:

  • Listen. Being a good listener means asking questions and listening without having to talk about yourself or offering advice.
  • Put yourself in someone else’s place. Imagine what it must be like to be new in your community for example and invite someone new in by making them feel welcome. If someone in your community is going through a tough time, send a card or drop off a thoughtful gift to let them know you’re thinking of them. Ask them how they’re doing and just listen with compassion. If someone is celebrating something, the same thing applies. You never know the impact you can have on one person or many people just by letting someone know you’re thinking of them.
  • Say encouraging things to others and know that they feel better for having been in your company. 
  • Use the words thank you as often as possible.

Compassion is one of the keys to living well. Remember we’re all human, we all have a story, we all have feelings, and we are all in this together.

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

Managing Diabetes

Knowing what foods raise your blood sugar levels is an excellent start to managing your Diabetes. In this short video, Nurse Dawson at Fitness Powers will review what food types you need to be mindful of in your diet. Small changes in consumption of these foods can lead to big rewards. Click here to watch the video. 
 
For more information on making healthy behaviour changes with eating, check out the link below to Diabetes Canada, or contact Tracy Reid at fitnesspowers@gmail.com for a personal health coaching session.
 

Thriving In Community

I remember my first day on the kibbutz in Israel. I was a twenty something Catholic girl from Montreal moving into a community I knew very little about; frankly, I was overwhelmed. Over my three months stay as a volunteer, I would be rotated through working in the kitchen, laundry, orange groves, cotton fields and helping with young children. I made friends among the volunteers and the kibbutzniks; I learned about a rich culture of collaboration, kindness and inclusion. The overwhelm I felt at the start was replaced with a feeling of deep admiration and connection with a community that felt more like family.

The aspect of kibbutz life that impressed me the most was how families were integrated and elders were revered. I enjoyed many conversations with older people, who had settled the kibbutz and soaked up insights from them on the importance of sustainable gardening and the beauty of growing older. They felt their importance in the kibbutz culture and when I came back to Canada, I was reminded of how we’ve had it so wrong for so long. I knew we were missing the gift of being able to hang out with and learn from people who have accrued a lot of wisdom over their lifetime.

Many years later, when I learned about The Wellings model of community living, something resonated deeply with me. In my mid-sixties at the time, I was now becoming one of those older people and I recognized that there was a great wave of us entering an important stage of life. We’re interested in being active, social, feeling part of community and we want to choose how we invest our precious time. The folks who designed The Wellings communities recognize that we are all important and we matter. I feel honoured and excited about the work we do to support people in making the next chapter of their life one of the best.

When we are part of a community that wants the same things such as comfort and convenience, connection with others and freedom to do as we please, the only thing we must do is realize how to maximize the experience. None of us are irrelevant, regardless of our age or our abilities. We need to accept that there will be challenges, just like every other stage of life but we don’t want our challenges to define our experience.

Which brings me to the subject of happiness and the question: what really makes us happy? The first answer most people give is either family, children or grandchildren which translates to feeling seen and feeling part of community. While we all have something to contribute to our family and our community at every stage of life, having an open mind and an open heart as we age means we’re receptive to new ideas, we’re interested in hearing other people’s stories, and we want the best not only for ourselves but for everyone in the community.

Once we have clarity around what’s important to us or what makes us happy, we can prioritize that in our everyday activities. One thing we must understand is that if we want to feel valued by others, we must make the first move and show others why we’re valuable instead of waiting for others to acknowledge it in us. If we want to feel kindness in our community, instead of waiting for others to show kindness to us, we need to pledge to be kind to others.

Kindness is one of the most important qualities in any human being at any age and it’s powerful. Dr. David Hamilton a physicist turned kindness expert explains that every act of kindness we do impacts at least five people: first, you benefit because your brain produces dopamine (known as helpers high). When you feel good, you produce oxytocin, which causes the release of nitric oxide, which reduces blood pressure and is said to be cardio protective. Oxytocin is also said to slow aging by reducing inflammation in the body. We are all wired for kindness so when we’re kind it’s much easier to make connection and form relationships. Obviously, the person receiving your kindness benefits and so does anyone who observes the act of kindness and anyone they tell about it. Added bonus: kindness is contagious, so you never know who you’re inspiring by being kind.

There are so many mixed messages in our culture about getting older and we want to support ideas such as ageless living, where your age doesn’t matter but who you are does. Just like life on the kibbutz, we want to encourage cooperation and collaboration in community instead of complaining and above all we want everyone to know that they are important, and they matter.

Reading reference: The Five Side Effects of Kindness Dr. David Hamilton, Hay House 2017

This Wellings blog by Kathie Donovan was exclusively written for Wellings Communities and appeared first on MyWellings.com.

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